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Parentheses' Confessions
Contributed by
emospaztic
on
Friday, 10th September 2004 @ 03:50:52 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
Drag me through the forgotten mysteries
better left unsolved
perhaps if I'd refused to say goodbye-
(she sighed to her pillow)
Charming smiles don't mean as much
when you're 200 miles away
and a phone call is my lifeline-
(she just wishes you were here)
It seems you've forced me
through the eye of the needle,
so I can recall what
drove you to give up-
(not knowing is killing her).
Copyright ©
emospaztic
... [
2004-09-10 15:50:52]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Parentheses' Confessions
(User Rating: 1 )
by eyesxcriedxout1989 on
Friday, 10th September 2004 @ 04:08:55 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Not at all bad really...Sounds more of a song though...Very good...keep writing
Mason |
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Re: Parentheses' Confessions
(User Rating: 1 )
by screwup on
Friday, 10th September 2004 @ 04:45:34 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I really liked your unusual style... and the last line is my favorite... "(not knowing is killing her)... great write.
~screwup |
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Re: Parentheses' Confessions
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 10th September 2004 @ 04:46:28 PM AEST
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a Message)
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i liked this really unique. 5 stars!
wildejohnny. |
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Re: Parentheses' Confessions
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Friday, 10th September 2004 @ 04:48:09 PM AEST
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a Message)
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*loves*
*of course*
I always use parentheses too much in my writing (and Mr. Irwin would agree *meh*) . . . it's 'cause I just always feel I have to explain the unsaid, the untold, always give the behind-the-scenes. I overuse it, I think-- but you don't, in in this poem. You use the parentheses just enough to give it power . . . it's the stuff non-spoonfed, most of the time, that lends this much beauty and poignance to a poem.
Niiice.
--Nora |
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Re: Parentheses' Confessions
(User Rating: 1 )
by kittie30 on
Friday, 10th September 2004 @ 07:35:30 PM AEST
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Ii am sry that that this happened to u and i read 1 of ur others and they are both great writes so keep itr up and good luck
~Zane |
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Re: Parentheses' Confessions
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Friday, 10th September 2004 @ 09:44:12 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Yeah, I bet it is.
great work of art.
huggs,
emy
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