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Drown.
Contributed by
sweet-poison
on
Thursday, 9th September 2004 @ 08:19:32 AM in AEST
Topic:
toughstuff
|
I sat and listened to your
promise of forever, The time when
you offered yourself to me, and I
could barely understand your whispers.
The time I fought against the
tide to understand, And your voice
was little more than a mime. I sat
and gazed into the waves, As your words
disappeared, And in that moment
you didn't even exist. The time I became
consumed, And you were nothing
more than an echo.
You sat and fought to convince
me that we were forever, The time when
the tide was inches away, And my eyes
were vacant. The time you
watched me disappear, And let me
drown.
Copyright ©
sweet-poison
... [
2004-09-09 08:19:32]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Drown.
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Thursday, 9th September 2004 @ 09:48:28 AM AEST
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a Message)
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this is a very sad write,one day you will feel able to swim again, hold onto the hope and any imch of strength you possess, you do possess some as you can write about it, thats proof...
takecare
pixie xx |
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Re: Drown.
(User Rating: 1 )
by screwup on
Thursday, 9th September 2004 @ 10:16:02 AM AEST
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| I know exactly what you are feeling... I to feel this way about one of my x-best friends. I can feel your pain-keep writing... it will eventually help. |
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Re: Drown.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Baronhawk on
Thursday, 9th September 2004 @ 07:09:43 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| A very haunting read, I must say that it speaks of a feel of isolation and one who has ben sundered from all touch, feel and trust of friends or lovers. Quite an impression of loss herein. But "there's the rub" as Shakespear's Hamlet would perhaps say. For to drown is to lose touch with what was and to drift away, sinking into that abyss of rejection and sad solitude, but perhaps to drown it is not always because there is no one there to help us rise up but mayhaps it is because the one who drowns did not reach out at the hands outstrecthed by helpful friends. Oh well just an impresion I got from this your poem. Nice write! |
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Re: Drown.
(User Rating: 1 )
by boobiepeach on
Monday, 27th June 2005 @ 11:20:54 AM AEST
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great write. friendship and or loves can make you feel and try to convince you of the wonderful Fascination of forever but as soon as it it said and made known the doubt sinks in. i have had many friendships in trust and then fall to complete ash. as soon as you can comprehend it bamb! a misunderstanding, a one sided story. this leads to the lack of forever!
great idea on your write. keep writing and i will keep reading.
peach |
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