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Liquid Crystal Secrets
Contributed by
ShadowDaughter
on
Wednesday, 8th September 2004 @ 09:32:14 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
way off in cyberspace you sit
at a liquid crystal screen
(just like my tears
of that same composition)
that filters your emotions
as your words seep through it to
>>> me.
--who sits, alone,
at my own screen,
which maybe could also shield my emotions,
but
pretending is getting sort of old
and I think, for now,
I'll cast the mask aside
(watchasitfallsfallsfallsintooblivion
thewayIfindmyselfdoingasIlistentoyou)
and your words are drifting across my shield
--apologies, my screen--
whispering things I never thought to be afraid of
never wished to not know
(---till now---)
and
secrets are forming in pixels
on the liquid crystals that fall from my eyes
(I mean, I mean,
actually, the particular liquid crystals
that the screen is comprised of
--it's so confusing)
these secrets upon tears upon shields
are tiptoeing into my vision
(and there is nothing I can do)
you are losing something
that Iheshetheyeveryone
never thought to
[try to]
protect for you
(and there is nothing I can do)
and there are neveragains
and somedaybutnotnows
and trustmes
(and there is nothing I can do)
no, I can only watch
helpless
{helpless, adj.; helplessly, adv.; helplessness, n.}
through my shield of liquid crystals
through my screen of tears
and there is nothing I can do.
Copyright ©
ShadowDaughter
... [
2004-09-08 21:32:14]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Liquid Crystal Secrets
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jeanetta on
Wednesday, 8th September 2004 @ 09:45:16 PM AEST
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this poem is amazing. it really drew me into feelings of my own that i try to ignore...knowing that if i acknowledge them, perhaps i would be forming my own "liquid crystals". i look forward to reading more of your work.
~Jeanetta |
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Re: Liquid Crystal Secrets
(User Rating: 1 )
by MoonlitAngel on
Wednesday, 8th September 2004 @ 09:45:57 PM AEST
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K... seriously... why'd I give you my last tissue?? I do not have words for how this touches me every time I read it... every little itty bitty piece of me... especially this part --
and there are neveragains
and somedaybutnotnows
and trustmes
(and there is nothing I can do)
My eyes just well right up at that part... I am so gonna cry all over my keyboard... Nora, you are the sweetest, most loving, most unbelievably just rawly (is that a word?) affecting person I think I've ever met in my life. I wish I could explain how this touches me... just the way you wrote it.. it is absolutely perfect. I'm emailing it to myself and I'm printing it out so I can read it anytime I want. You, Nora, are a true and wonderful friend. I love you to pieces, and I don't even care that I'm being super sappy. You deserve all the sap I have in me. I love you to pieces. You're the absolute best, and it's like magick when you put words in poetic form like this. It is so stunningly beautiful, and now I'm just rambling so I shall shut up. :)
All the love and sap in the world,
~ Dee |
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Re: Liquid Crystal Secrets
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Wednesday, 8th September 2004 @ 10:55:21 PM AEST
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Please forgive me if these comments are rather incoherent Nora, but as you know I'm tired. First off i really enjoyed this poem and the uniqueness was very refreashing. It also reminded me of e.e. *****s a little bit. I also liked the analogies/similes towards the liquid crystal computer screen and your liquid crystal tears. Very good...
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Liquid Crystal Secrets
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 9th September 2004 @ 12:06:13 AM AEST
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I have never read a piece of your work I did not like, but, I was shocked and awed at the emotionally profound feelings that hit me when I read this work. You have such amazing insight. When I grow up I want to write poems like you!
hugs,
Rita |
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Re: Liquid Crystal Secrets
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Thursday, 9th September 2004 @ 06:34:09 AM AEST
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wow, that was very intresting Nora, your style is so very different and unique, I really enjoyed your write as always, you opened my eyes, oh and I would also like to thank you for the other night for lending me your shoulder, it meant alot,
takecare,
pixie xx |
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Re: Liquid Crystal Secrets
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Thursday, 9th September 2004 @ 08:13:20 AM AEST
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Ok. First off, i'm going to agree with Dee about how great you are Nora. Because she said everything that i would have said.
Second. This has to be one of the best poems i have seen.
I feel i can relate to this alot, and you know why. This struck right at my heart.
The style you use is so different. It fills me with wonder everytime i read something of yours.
"secrets are forming in pixels
on the liquid crystals that fall from my eyes"
You use similies to great effect. I have never known anything quite like this before...
This also hit me:
>>> me.
--who sits, alone,
at my own screen,
which maybe could also shield my emotions,
but
pretending is getting sort of old
and I think, for now,
I'll cast the mask aside
In some poems, using 'mask' is a tired way of saying things, but this seems to add to the poem this time, instead of taking away from it.
A unique and wonderful pice of work, my friend.
(Sorry, my critical comments suck. lol)
Much love to you,
All the best,
Phil xxx |
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Re: Liquid Crystal Secrets
(User Rating: 1 )
by emphaticplacebo on
Thursday, 9th September 2004 @ 09:15:35 AM AEST
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Indeed a very intriguing write, certainly out of the ordinary. I have never read something that provokes the sort of thought that resulted from your poem. Also your use of methods other than rhyme (eg multiple words combined into one, and the various uses of the word 'helpless' ) helped in making this poem a standout. You have an awesome talent, and I hope to read more from you
Dan
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Re: Liquid Crystal Secrets
(User Rating: 1 )
by jaeann on
Thursday, 9th September 2004 @ 12:31:55 PM AEST
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the title alone makes me salivate......the way you convey your work to us is unique.....profound....
and there are neveragains
and somedaybutnotnows
and trustmes
(and there is nothing I can do)
and aren't we all so very restless of those.....
you are a breath of fresh air...... |
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Re: Liquid Crystal Secrets
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Thursday, 9th September 2004 @ 05:29:44 PM AEST
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This is powerful; very much so. There should be a catagory for "tough love poetry", for that is what this is. It's love, but it's also war poetry in a way. From the very way it impells itself into the mind. This comes straight, undiluted, from the heart. Awesome piece.
Andrew |
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Re: Liquid Crystal Secrets
(User Rating: 1 )
by cuddlytiger17 on
Friday, 29th October 2004 @ 09:58:26 PM AEST
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You're so creative, I've never seen anyone write like you do. I love how you combine words together, it marks a sense of urgency. You have such a different way of expressing everything, I'm just eating this stuff up. I feel like the cookie monster who's just come across a vault of hidden treats. hehe.
On another note, i like your concept of cyberspace and how your completely helpless in controlling what someone says to you. You're a mere bystander watchin as someone types words, letters, to you. And all you can do is take them in, absorb what they say. |
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Re: Liquid Crystal Secrets
(User Rating: 1 )
by faith_my_eyes on
Friday, 5th November 2004 @ 04:55:37 PM AEST
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| very sensitive, emotional, and dramatic write. I like the modern structure you wrote it in. Often times it is overly pretentious but for this write it works well. |
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