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Innocent Carnage
Contributed by
Silent_Composer
on
Wednesday, 8th September 2004 @ 09:21:18 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
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Innocent Carnage
Shudders rip through my dying frame,
Recent agonies, slaughter to blame,
Steps falter as bullets punch through,
Motion slows to blood and sinew,
Erupting gore from shredded chest,
Tattered flesh from destructions test,
Monsters rampage, targets aplenty,
Harvesters of life, stealers of many,
The mall was full, loud with chatter,
Now only a graveyard, drenched in blood splatter,
Masked demons entered, hatred in their eyes,
Blazing fire molten lead, hungry for deaths cries,
Now they are gone leaving wretched souls,
Warped wraiths twisted and full of holes,
Wandering ghostly innocents raped of life,
As I join them, leaving behind a testament of strife.
By Silent_Composer
Copyright ©
Silent_Composer
... [
2004-09-08 09:21:18] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Innocent Carnage
(User Rating: 1 ) by poetmarie on
Wednesday, 8th September 2004 @ 09:35:27 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Gorey indeed but I like it, it's interesting and reminds of all those horror movies. Actually, it makes me think of the book I'm reading now. |
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Re: Innocent Carnage
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 8th September 2004 @ 10:46:59 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Yes, quite graphic but sadly a happening in our society where cold blooded killers destroy innocence for their amusement. This is very well written. I will watch for more of your work. Welcome to YPDC.
Rita |
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Re: Innocent Carnage
(User Rating: 1 ) by Luinil on
Wednesday, 8th September 2004 @ 11:51:01 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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definitely graphic-- love the wording... great writing!* |
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Re: Innocent Carnage
(User Rating: 1 ) by shelby on
Wednesday, 8th September 2004 @ 11:55:08 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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deep and dark I kike it
Michelle |
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Re: Innocent Carnage
(User Rating: 1 ) by lostinmyself on
Wednesday, 8th September 2004 @ 12:27:58 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Ooooh, i like this.
Yes it is pretty graphic, but i also love the wording and i am definatly getting aimages in my head...
(I'm not totally sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. lol)
I'm regards to poetry, it is a good thing.
Great write, Phil xxx |
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Re: Innocent Carnage
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Thursday, 9th September 2004 @ 03:02:18 AM AEST (User
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Prophetic. How long before terrorists attack a mall and kill hordes of innocents?
Not long.
Good write - graphic, in standard rhyme. |
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Re: Innocent Carnage
(User Rating: 1 ) by Jenni_K on
Thursday, 9th September 2004 @ 06:23:48 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Good write...made so real through your words... Keep them coming...
Jenni |
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Re: Innocent Carnage
(User Rating: 1 ) by emystar on
Thursday, 9th September 2004 @ 03:22:43 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Sad but written well. Unfortunatly this is true in so many cases these days.
great writing.
luv, huggs,
emy |
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Re: Innocent Carnage
(User Rating: 1 ) by arden on
Friday, 10th September 2004 @ 11:09:48 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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holy sh*t lol
"Wandering ghostly innocents raped of life,
As I join them, leaving behind a testament of strife."
i love that!
this is my most favorite of your works thus far. im a big writer of the dark poems and a major lover of dark poems. very dark and a bit gorey. the rhyme was awesome, very well thought out. i simply cannot give this poem enough praise.
loved it. hope to see more like this soon.
great work.
Arden |
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Re: Innocent Carnage
(User Rating: 1 ) by Stitch on
Tuesday, 14th September 2004 @ 08:29:07 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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What struck me about this was the incredible deafening silence once all the bullets are spent. There is such sadness in that silence.
Stitch |
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