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Bleed For Me Thru The Illness
Contributed by
deadreckoning1983
on
Tuesday, 7th September 2004 @ 02:53:08 AM in AEST
Topic:
poets
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Betwwen the layers of smoke and filth we live.
Huddled together, we are you,
Whores, liars, and thieves.
Like the shadow in the crows foot we exist.
You don't want us to, but we do.
While you sleep behind your silk curtain eylids,
We dance thru the allies and into the bonfire.
I watched as a moth
Danced thru the flames.
Teasing the fire into a frenzy.
How beautiful life becomes,
When it is dying.
It rages on, life, and that too fails.
You sob for the Illness,
You bleed for it.
So for a short time
You can feel good about yourself.
But this night there is no fire.
Only a mist
That rolled silently thru the town.
It reaches out for you,
My dear poet, my liar.
Leading you unto your own abbatoir.
Where the passionate dreams of others have been slaughtered.
Bits and pieces sewn back together,
Forgotten by the hatchet.
Still bleeding the words,
Screaming of vengance and treason.
It was you all along.
With your smiles and kind words.
Slowly strangling out the strange.
Bleaching the words until they couldn't be seen anymore.
But we saw, and we know.
Come dance in the fire,
My murderer, my sweet rapist.
Copyright ©
deadreckoning1983
... [
2004-09-07 02:53:08] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Bleed For Me Thru The Illness
(User Rating: 1 ) by Nazmythian on
Tuesday, 7th September 2004 @ 03:16:39 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Wow, there is a lot of power in that write. Great imagery, and intense feeling. I really enjoyed that.
I have noticed that the more I participate, the more "attention" I have recieved. It may take time ... but should be worth the wait. Sometimes you must make people see you, for them to seek you out. ( just my opinion)
Nazmythian ~
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Re: Bleed For Me Thru The Illness
(User Rating: 1 ) by katyqueen35 on
Tuesday, 7th September 2004 @ 03:23:59 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Ahhh what was that?
I sense alittle bitterness or hate.
I like to understand what your trying to say?
Explain please.
by the way your writes good but alittle confusing to me but good. |
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Re: Bleed For Me Thru The Illness
(User Rating: 1 ) by deadreckoning1983 on
Tuesday, 7th September 2004 @ 12:05:56 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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this poem is about a sense of a system here. how the same type of writes get outstanding reviews and anything new or different is not talked about like it was never there. very few of the sponors will venture where i go, but i would like to thank jenni_k and artostuff for being consistant readers. it was also for the people noone seems to hear about. there are better poets on here. you just have to look for them. i have so many depressing poems about suicide on here it makes me sick. but they always seem to get read. you know what i mean. if your life is really that bad quit writing about it and kill yourself. that's not what you will want to hear, but that's what i will say. |
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Re: Bleed For Me Thru The Illness
(User Rating: 1 ) by deadreckoning1983 on
Tuesday, 7th September 2004 @ 12:07:20 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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i meant i have read so many depressing poems on here. |
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Re: Bleed For Me Thru The Illness
(User Rating: 1 ) by theMoth on
Tuesday, 7th September 2004 @ 05:44:54 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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You said you were "painting" a new poem on this. And how! Your style shows alot of creative maturity. And I appreciate what you are taking on here, alot of us will get this poem--and alot of others will just chastise you with talk about "keep writing, keep posting" like it doesn't matter that some of us who write dark or graphic poetry (sometimes or always) have to read (and make comments with genuine appreciation)alot of poetry on here that we don't really like, but the favor isn't returned by narrow minded mystics and snobby matriarchs.
Keep writing.
--Mothy |
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Re: Bleed For Me Thru The Illness
(User Rating: 1 ) by eyesxcriedxout1989 on
Thursday, 9th September 2004 @ 08:58:41 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Definitly a big WOW, Dane...I loved how it was dark, with a hint of mysterious bitterness...I hope thats what you were trying to convey, because thats what I got. I think it is my favorite of yours. Well, here I present to you props.
Mason |
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Re: Bleed For Me Thru The Illness
(User Rating: 1 ) by xafflictedx on
Thursday, 23rd September 2004 @ 09:49:25 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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HOLY MOLY! I didn't know that you were capable of this. I remember the silly things you used to write that I didn't take seriously. This makes me appreciate you so much more. Now if you could get up here so we can rule the world. |
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Re: Bleed For Me Thru The Illness
(User Rating: 1 ) by hauntedscorp on
Monday, 24th November 2014 @ 09:01:10 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I have been here a few minutes and I might stick around for a few more...This is outstanding! I love that you are speaking out for those that go unnoticed, and the forceful manner you use to promote your message.
Excellent through and through.
~Scorp |
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