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Where Have All the Stars Gone
Contributed by
Nazmythian
on
Monday, 6th September 2004 @ 07:30:37 PM in AEST
Topic:
DreamsandWishes
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Where have all
The stars gone
Where's the light
That turns them on
I have a wish
To wish tonight
To be with you
By morning light
But there's no stars
Up in the sky
There's no stars
To hear my cry
Where are they now
And what are they doing
What kind of fantacies
Are they pursuing
Why won't they come
To my feeble cry
Why aren't they here
Will I ever know why
Ever know why
( ever know why )
Where have all
The stars gone
Will they reappear
Before the dawn
There's nothing left
To wish upon
Please tell me where
The stars
Have gone
Copyright ©
Nazmythian
... [
2004-09-06 19:30:37]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Where Have All the Stars Gone
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 6th September 2004 @ 07:47:58 PM AEST
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I really like the feel of this poem! So innocent and sweet, yet deep and beautiful. Great write, thanks for sharing!!
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Re: Where Have All the Stars Gone
(User Rating: 1 )
by Odessa19 on
Monday, 6th September 2004 @ 07:58:06 PM AEST
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| this was really well written. quite impressive. keep the emotions going.. i love your perspecitve of the stars, ive never thought of them to be one of the comforting sites to remind us we arent alone. lonliness burns like the stars. |
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Re: Where Have All the Stars Gone
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Monday, 6th September 2004 @ 08:56:36 PM AEST
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How lucky you are that you saved this, Scott... it would have been a shame if you had tossed it away. I imagine that you step back through the years as you re-read it now.
I did have one suggestion and hope you don't mind it.... I struggled with the stanza beginning with "But there's no stars", as "there's" is obviously "there is", but per the plural 'stars' - "there are" is more appropriate. I thought something like this might work better:
But no stars exist
Up in the sky
There are no stars
To hear my cry
Again, I do hope you don't mind the feedback... I do like this and certainly don't mean to imply that I do not... Most especially, I like the essence of it..... How does one wish if there are no stars?
- SNM
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Re: Where Have All the Stars Gone
(User Rating: 1 )
by New_York_Chick on
Monday, 6th September 2004 @ 09:16:15 PM AEST
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this is very lyrical
it would make a beautiful song |
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Re: Where Have All the Stars Gone
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 6th September 2004 @ 11:55:19 PM AEST
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Very good write for 18 or any age.
Very good.
luv, huggs, smiles,
emy |
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Re: Where Have All the Stars Gone
(User Rating: 1 )
by katyqueen35 on
Tuesday, 7th September 2004 @ 01:30:23 AM AEST
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a very beautiful and sad write.
wish you luck. |
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Re: Where Have All the Stars Gone
(User Rating: 1 )
by critterhideaway on
Tuesday, 7th September 2004 @ 06:11:50 AM AEST
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| Very nice write. You were good back then also thank you for sharing. The stars will come back after the dark night |
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Re: Where Have All the Stars Gone
(User Rating: 1 )
by FleurdeSang on
Tuesday, 7th September 2004 @ 09:51:48 AM AEST
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I am very glad you saved this, dearest Scott... We'd be missing out on an extravagent write if you didn't! Excellent piece! Beautiful words! I hope your wish comes or came true, mon ami... I enjoyed this. Thank you for sharing this. Forever yours,
FleurdeSang (Steph) |
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Re: Where Have All the Stars Gone
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Tuesday, 7th September 2004 @ 12:42:41 PM AEST
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a Message)
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...definitely a worthy write
Winofree |
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Re: Where Have All the Stars Gone
(User Rating: 1 )
by a_bear on
Thursday, 9th September 2004 @ 11:08:34 AM AEST
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You have music in your heart and a feeling for the sound of words...I really like this. I really, really do..especailly the echo effect...
Will I ever know why
Ever know why
( ever know why )
.......grrrrrrrrrrrrrreat.... |
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Re: Where Have All the Stars Gone
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadreckoning1983 on
Thursday, 9th September 2004 @ 11:07:12 PM AEST
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| this was an excellent write. very sad and somehow it made me feel like we shared something?lol. anyway naz an excellewnt write. |
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Re: Where Have All the Stars Gone
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadreckoning1983 on
Thursday, 9th September 2004 @ 11:07:20 PM AEST
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| this was an excellent write. very sad and somehow it made me feel like we shared something?lol. anyway naz an excellent write. |
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Re: Where Have All the Stars Gone
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Thursday, 16th September 2004 @ 11:39:25 PM AEST
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a Message)
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truely beautiful poem.... like your note, cute, hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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