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1,000 tears More

Contributed by cheech on Monday, 6th September 2004 @ 03:12:26 PM in AEST
Topic: LostLove



all i've been doing is crying,
crying my 1,000 tears
wishing you would come back to me
wishing you were here.

it seems right now as if you want,
want to hurt me even more
i wish that you could understand that
my heart is already sore.

i still cry a 1,000 tears 'cause you
throw alot of loving in my face
i tried and tried but i can't move on
i don't know why i think you can be replaced

i don't understand how you could tell me
that you would never stop loving me
everytime i turn around i cry
tears my eyes can see




Copyright © cheech ... [ 2004-09-06 15:12:26]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: 1,000 tears More (User Rating: 1 )
by Versifier on Monday, 6th September 2004 @ 03:35:42 PM AEST
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To me the poem was too cliche and the use of numbers annoyed me.
It's the type of poem that makes you wanna say it'll be okay(to the author). Well at least you put emotion into it-...(to bad it is a commonly used topic.)
Harness that talent into a fresh/unique topic.


Re: 1,000 tears More (User Rating: 1 )
by rookiepoet on Monday, 6th September 2004 @ 05:41:01 PM AEST
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Versifier, you are definitely pushing the boundaries of constructive criticism here. If you are going to criticise someone's poem, please, leave the sarcasm out. Yes alot of people write about lost love, but it's because almost everyone has experienced it and it's painful. Poetry is a way to vent your feelings, and that's what cheech was feeling so they shouldn't be criticised for being unoriginal. Anyways, I thought it was a good poem, from the heart. Keep at it.


Re: 1,000 tears More (User Rating: 1 )
by kidpoet_213 on Monday, 6th September 2004 @ 08:26:47 PM AEST
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I agree with Rookiepoet... it's a good poem...
everyone has went thru this type of thing at some point in their lives... if they haven't then they're not living!!!
This is a way to vent feelings... I should know I took alot of flack over a poem I wrote and the backlash of criticism over a word in it...
Come on folks... we're here to build one another up not tear each other apart... over lil nitpick things...
Great poem cheech... I understand where ur're coming from... keep up with the writing!
~Donna~


Re: 1,000 tears More (User Rating: 1 )
by Versifier on Monday, 6th September 2004 @ 09:12:11 PM AEST
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.....0.0....I thought it was an excellent poem.
(And I wasnt being sarcastic)
I was just putting in some input that might help...in a way....
Well if you thought I was being malevolent I apologize deeply.
Cause I know how it is when you put all your emotions into a piece of writing and it is trashed...I guess I didnt make it clear enough that I truely admired the poem...sorry for the misunderstanding...
Well I must re-do the first post.lol.
I sincerely love it because the emotions are so rare and vividly like explaned.
I guess I shouldnt have passed judgment on the first vew lines.
I sometimes forget its difficult to understand what I mean...I must explicate my feelings better.Thank-you for making me aware of that.^_^.
This poem seems as if it has a longer story than was put. maybe I'll stumble across another one of your poems and get the total feel. It was an excellent read/write.kudos.^_^(and I mean that,lol.ppl tell me too often I must explain things better.sry if I seemed harsh.)keep up the excellent work!


Re: 1,000 tears More (User Rating: 1 )
by New_York_Chick on Monday, 6th September 2004 @ 09:38:03 PM AEST
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very emotional but still a good poem




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