|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
It
Contributed by
alecfernadez
on
Monday, 6th September 2004 @ 09:59:45 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
It was a pretty body in a pretty blue dress
My heart was sold the first time I met it
On that sandy beach in southern France
I watched it from behind the grassy hill
As It stripped down the to the bare
So perfect
It lay down, toes beneath the sand
Arms splayed, body for all to see
My god it was built to perfection
I mustered all the courage I had
And walked down to meet it
There it was lying in fall splendour
I layed down beside it
Clasped my hand over its chest
It screamed
Holding its head between my hands
I twisted with all the strength I had
Until the struggling body ceased
I removed my clothes and lay above
The now lifeless pristine corpse
And fell in love this time for real
Copyright ©
alecfernadez
... [
2004-09-06 09:59:45]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: It
(User Rating: 1 )
by inoc on
Monday, 6th September 2004 @ 10:06:11 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
you wrote it well
but the ending...I was hoping for a different one
but nice write anyway...
cheers! |
|
|
Re: It
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Monday, 6th September 2004 @ 10:23:40 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I think if I have EVER read a poem written by a sociopath or someone with sociopathic tendancies it would be similiar to the one you wrote. You just wrote it well, brilliant in fact.
You captured with words the feeling of no conscience, the coldness, the unfeeling and no thought to consequence for a behavior.
I couldn't have chosen a more fitting title.
I am beyond impressed with this one Alex. I am stunned.
You have a dark beauty that your pen brings to life in every reader's mind.
Bravo and well done.
Kie |
|
|
Re: It
(User Rating: 1 )
by kyletycz on
Monday, 6th September 2004 @ 01:41:36 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
awsome poem, its sad to know that there are people who cant understand that their actions are evil in nature, but they cannot tell the differnece, there is much sadness in my opinion there, and i love how you conveyed it in yoru writing,
keep up the good work
l8r
Ninja Tycz |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
