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everyone dies alone
Contributed by
gothicangel
on
Sunday, 5th September 2004 @ 04:25:35 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
a silver moon shines through the window
making a pale silhouette of a face
neurotic eyes standing out from their sockets
and a shallow smile ablaze
a chilly silence crawls up the stairs
from this haunted house of mind
like a thief at night in the shadows move
searching for a hearse to find
creeping into the room
a cold, lonely feeling of death
'everyone dies alone' he said
muttering under his breath
a numb sensation creeping
like a feeling beneath the skin
his naked eyes confirming
how sad it all has been
with the calmness of a whisper
the moonlight caresses his skin
looking at his face in the mirror
seeing his eyes and the emptiness within
no tears shed from this fellow's eyes
a person no one will mourn
he knows the gates above are closed
'everyone dies alone'
feeling the weight of the pistol
hearing the darkness call
pulling the trigger with his finger
a sound of a limp body fall.
Copyright ©
gothicangel
... [
2004-09-05 16:25:35]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: everyone dies alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by Broken_Skin on
Sunday, 5th September 2004 @ 04:34:44 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Im not sure why
but theres something different about your poetry
I cant grasp it
very good non the less
inspiring, upsetting and touching
5/5
BS x |
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Re: everyone dies alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Monday, 6th September 2004 @ 09:59:44 AM AEST
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a Message)
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First i'd like to say that for such a young age you have remarkable talent to write poetry.
You move the reader, you express yourself well and you astound me.
Secondly I use to think we died totally alone no matter the circumstances but then something really strange happened that has brought me to a different conclusion.
I'd like to share it with you. When the debate was on to take my uncle off of life support I stepped out of the glass cubicle bec. I could take no more. This very old man (i'd seen every day) was four cubicles down was walking up and down the walk way (like pacing) when he saw me he said, "Everything is going to be okay" and then he walked back into his cubicle.
I thought nothing of it, nothing.
Until I went to see my uncle one last time after he was taken off the life support. The other mans cubicle was empty and the nurse said he had died the day before yet I never noticed it.
Now if we die totally alone how could that guy have been in the hallway?
Just rambling, cause I liked your poem so much...
Kie
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Re: everyone dies alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lee on
Monday, 27th September 2004 @ 07:13:52 AM AEST
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Poet at Industrial Colosseums Unbound
Says:
Good visual imagery, well-written rhymed verse, and good word usage: "silhouettes"!
Jolly Good Show! |
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Re: everyone dies alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kindredblood_dragon on
Sunday, 24th October 2004 @ 10:03:54 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Visual and emotional, painting a clear image of suffering with a chilling ending, cool poem well worth the read. |
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Re: everyone dies alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 27th October 2004 @ 02:03:37 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| I do beleive you have mad a fallower out of me. I must treat myself to more of your work. |
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