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RETIRED MINDS RAMBLE
Contributed by
lovingcritters
on
Sunday, 5th September 2004 @ 09:45:19 AM in AEST
Topic:
HumorPoetry
|
"RETIRED MINDS RAMBLE!"
Ramble means to think or "Mind Rattle!"
Cell phones, status symbol of today.
Can't afford one, so I wear instead.....
Garage door opener on display!
It took me 50 years to realize
That people don't like me.....sighs!
After I spent a fortune on deodorant!
Expensive colognes for my statement!
Pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
How can you tell if you've hit "Old Age?"
When you still have something on the ball,
But you're just too tired to bounce it off the wall!
I'm really very healthy, I never skip breakfast.
I'm thinking about making an excercise tape,
I'm going to call it "Pumping Rust!"
I do have a disease though, called, "Furniture Bitters!"
When your chest is falling into your drawers!"
These are just some of my "Pet Peeves!"
"Oh, have you got a cat?" when they see my litter box
gives me the dry heaves!
Now I'm an old lady, and don't want to be grumpy
But would love to reply, "Oh, No, that's for the company!"
And Employment application blanks aren't exactly "Brainy!"
They ask: "Who is to be notitifed in case of an emergency"
I pondered this over, what if you're a bachelor?
I finally wrote, "I think a Good Doctor!"
What a puzzlement as I walk into he Post Office
criminals faces plastered everywhere!
Is this a "Singles Club?" Advertising for an affair?
I've already decided I'm not writing to them,
put their pictures on postage stamps.
Let the postman look for these tramps!
Better yet, why not arrest them while they're taking
their poster picture, naughty scamps!!!
I've noticed something else that's very peculiar?
Ever notice how the oldsters start reading their
Bibles with ardor?
Then it dawned on me, they're cramming for their finals!
As for me I hope God grades on the curve.....
I'll never make it on my wrinkles!
Created by
Lovingcritters
ConSue
Sept 5, 2004
No Author........
the poem is mine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"A beautiful lady is an accident of nature.
A beautiful old lady is a work of "Art!"
~Louis Nizer~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Scary Smiles!*
Copyright ©
lovingcritters
... [
2004-09-05 09:45:19]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: RETIRED MINDS RAMBLE
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Sunday, 5th September 2004 @ 09:59:37 AM AEST
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a Message)
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you are sooooooo funny. a treasure to have on the site, you bring laughter and smiles to so many faces including mine,
wonderful write,
pixie xx |
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Re: RETIRED MINDS RAMBLE
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Sunday, 5th September 2004 @ 11:02:00 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Big HUGE smile here.....
Wonderful as always ConSue.
Kie |
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Re: RETIRED MINDS RAMBLE
(User Rating: 1 )
by thumper on
Sunday, 5th September 2004 @ 11:36:50 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This was delightful! I hate to say it but this applies to me specially the one regarding the ball. Just no oomph any more. The pics you posted with it just added to the whole she-bang! Great write!
Thumps ; 0) |
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Re: RETIRED MINDS RAMBLE
(User Rating: 1 )
by maryetta on
Sunday, 5th September 2004 @ 04:02:22 PM AEST
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a Message)
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do we run in a pack or what? us oldsters need to give each other a boost, your a charm and i love ya, make my day ya doo ya doo.
love ya
maryetta |
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Re: RETIRED MINDS RAMBLE
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ilhar on
Sunday, 5th September 2004 @ 04:25:51 PM AEST
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almost split my stitches...good write
Hugs
Shari |
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Re: RETIRED MINDS RAMBLE
(User Rating: 1 )
by critterhideaway on
Sunday, 5th September 2004 @ 08:24:33 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Oh I love this!! still laughing, you know how to describe getting old, maybe I won't mind so bad now, but I'm getting there, thanks for the laughs and thank you for your sweet comment on my poetry "If" |
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Re: RETIRED MINDS RAMBLE
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 6th September 2004 @ 05:55:31 AM AEST
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a Message)
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wow!
luv it!
luv u.
huggs, smiles,
yo brat,
emy |
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Re: RETIRED MINDS RAMBLE
(User Rating: 1 )
by LOWMAN613 on
Tuesday, 7th September 2004 @ 09:27:34 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| You left me in stiches girl! Keep these ones coming I need more laughter in my life!Christina |
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