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why is it this way
Contributed by
wild_girl121
on
Friday, 3rd September 2004 @ 05:16:09 PM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
|
what am i to you?
do i have a name or am i just an object
that u pass by as nothing?
why do you treat me so unfair?
i am not a little kid anymore i am 16 years old.
treat me like im supose to be treated ..
i too have feelings, but there probably more
sinsere and true.... just because you are older doesn't mean
you can make fun of me,
i understands things too !!!
but i dont understand why you continue
to try and offend me with you're stupid remarks....
*~* please tell me how i can make my poem better *~*
Copyright ©
wild_girl121
... [
2004-09-03 17:16:09]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: why is it this way
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenn2004 on
Friday, 3rd September 2004 @ 05:52:57 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Your poem is really good. In time, as u keep writing you will get better and better each time u write. I have gotten alot better each time i write. Keep Writing!! |
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Re: why is it this way
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Friday, 3rd September 2004 @ 05:54:37 PM AEST
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You have the emotion part down perfectly my friend. Take time to do a spell check before posting. I am probably the worst speller on this site...lol so I have to do that with every one of mine that I post. I think you have great potential :o) Welcome to ypdc and keep writing!
Roses
Larry |
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Re: why is it this way
(User Rating: 1 )
by deathdrop on
Wednesday, 8th September 2004 @ 10:19:41 AM AEST
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I KNOW JUST WHERE YOU'RE COMMING FROM WITH THESE FEELINGS!
if i was writing this, then i'd make it rhyme more, just because thats the skill that i'm good at. i don't see any thing wrong with your poem apart from that, but at the same time, your poem is still excellent! |
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Re: why is it this way
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sinned on
Thursday, 30th March 2006 @ 07:44:29 PM AEST
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Wildgirl_121
Use capital letters at the start of each sentence and check your spelling. "I even forget to do that sometimes".
Other than that your poem is fine.
Sinned
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