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Pointless Complaints
Contributed by
vibrations
on
Thursday, 2nd September 2004 @ 11:08:17 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
Pointless Complaints, and relentless isolation
Seemingly meaningless conversations, now so valuable
Wondering which last phrases would have been exchanged
Never knowing, feeling constantly empty with a never ending hole
Racking my brain, searching, questing, questioning, for that last moment
Inability to remember the last words passed to you
Knowing it wasn't "I love you", feels like my souls evaporated
A void left standing for the memory of the last moment you heard me tell you
Not getting to say goodbye, wishing just once I could change the past
Only 2 days till the day you'd been longing for my whole life
So many things I can reflect on, and wishing you were here to do it with me
Debates on my future, believing I'd have offspring, and me refuting
So many hearts imploded by your absence mine especially
Grasping for reason to pursue life, wishing to abandon it all
Tears creeping, as open floodgates, torrential downfall, endless winter gloom
Worthless existence without knowing someone wouldn't hesitate to give their life for me
Heavy thoughts constantly, unacceptable reality that you are gone
Life never the same, forever lacking your presence, forever grateful to have once had it.
Copyright ©
vibrations
... [
2004-09-02 23:08:17]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Pointless Complaints
(User Rating: 1 )
by pvd on
Thursday, 2nd September 2004 @ 11:34:12 PM AEST
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Full of emotion and feeling.
This is just an observation and not a criticism, use better line breaks to measure the flow. Still a good write. Keep it up.
PVD |
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Re: Pointless Complaints
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 2nd September 2004 @ 11:58:32 PM AEST
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This is very moving. Mother's are generally the pivotal point in our lives. That love and security is always there to run too if needed. Sadly we don't appreciate it until it is gone. But then we don't realize how important they are in our lives until they are gone.
I do agree with the structuring and line breaks. It would enhance it so much more.
I do think it is lovely and speaks volumes for Motherhood.
Rita |
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Re: Pointless Complaints
(User Rating: 1 )
by jaeann on
Friday, 3rd September 2004 @ 12:05:35 AM AEST
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| .....speaking as a daughter who has lost a mother and a mother that has lost a daughter......both at too far young of an age......"knowing it wasn't i love you" speaks so heart wrenchingly.......from the grave almost......your words are eloquent.....your cadence like an orleans dirge TO the cemetary.....bluesy and haunting....."life never the same, forever lacking your presence, forever grateful to have once had it"............forever grateful that your words touched my soul today!!!! |
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Re: Pointless Complaints
(User Rating: 1 )
by Puppy_dog_eyes on
Friday, 3rd September 2004 @ 11:23:45 AM AEST
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I'm sorry for your loss.I am fortunate that I still have both my parents but I know the pain that losing a loved one brings.
Good luck
Steve |
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