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Burning In The Bleach
Contributed by
deadreckoning1983
on
Wednesday, 1st September 2004 @ 06:28:16 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
I have watched the last few years of my life
Played out within the hour.
I watched my friends,
As if they were already dead.
Memories of the music and laughs,
Caught up in the wheels.
It's all about forward motion.
Not where we'll end up,
But where we are going to get there.
So my spectar of the past
Reaches into my mind, and refuses to let go.
Forcing me to watch it all again.
I feel tattered and frayed,
Like a white button collared shirt.
The cotton is burning in the bleach,
Leaving my scars exposed,
And the scars have destroyed what's left of me.
Copyright ©
deadreckoning1983
... [
2004-09-01 18:28:16]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Burning In The Bleach
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Wednesday, 1st September 2004 @ 06:39:02 PM AEST
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Well even if it's early or late it's a great write, very deep and shows much wisdom and understanding.
huggs, luv, smiles,
emy
Oh forgot to mention that it's a masterpeice.
Anyone that reads it can probably relate in one way or nuther. |
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Re: Burning In The Bleach
(User Rating: 1 )
by theMoth on
Wednesday, 1st September 2004 @ 07:03:59 PM AEST
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It gets better and better. You know how to use your title in your poem. Groovy.
--Mothy |
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Re: Burning In The Bleach
(User Rating: 1 )
by waos on
Wednesday, 1st September 2004 @ 08:08:22 PM AEST
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| I thought it was pretty good, mind you I'm probably not the greatest critic but I liked it. Sweet job |
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Re: Burning In The Bleach
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sirena_Degana on
Wednesday, 1st September 2004 @ 08:58:39 PM AEST
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simply wicked!!!!
blessed be
sirena
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Re: Burning In The Bleach
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Wednesday, 1st September 2004 @ 09:01:18 PM AEST
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| very good write. its interesting with your analogies. i liked the beginning especially. |
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Re: Burning In The Bleach
(User Rating: 1 )
by thumper on
Wednesday, 1st September 2004 @ 09:56:45 PM AEST
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WOW!! Very deep. I like the analogy. Good stuff.I don't know what else to say. I like the part about the specter. Hits home. Kudos!
Thumps ; 0) |
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Re: Burning In The Bleach
(User Rating: 1 )
by artostuff on
Thursday, 2nd September 2004 @ 03:43:31 AM AEST
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I like this. Very intresting imagery. The line,
'I watched my friends,
As if they were already dead'
really stands out to me. Thank you for sharing. |
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Re: Burning In The Bleach
(User Rating: 1 )
by Alina on
Thursday, 2nd September 2004 @ 03:26:39 PM AEST
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This is how I feel when I remember a acouple summers ago that changed my life forever..... when I started using drugs. But.... we all have to learn to move on.
ALINA |
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Re: Burning In The Bleach
(User Rating: 1 )
by jaeann on
Thursday, 2nd September 2004 @ 08:45:15 PM AEST
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| tattered and frayed......awesome work..the imagery and analogy is so profound...... |
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Re: Burning In The Bleach
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Tuesday, 7th September 2004 @ 12:52:09 PM AEST
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I agree ... an excellent write, very picturesque and descriptive but open to the readers interpretation ... Nice !!!
Nazmythian ~ |
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Re: Burning In The Bleach
(User Rating: 1 )
by EmoDCgirl36 on
Tuesday, 14th September 2004 @ 02:43:06 PM AEST
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| Awesome poem, dead etc etc. |
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Re: Burning In The Bleach
(User Rating: 1 )
by cuddlytiger17 on
Thursday, 21st October 2004 @ 01:34:59 PM AEST
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| i have that same problem. i just cant let go of the past. :( all these wounds just keep forever haunting me and destroying what little i have left. i cant move forward because i cant get over whats already happened. but at least we know whats wrong, what we're doing wrong. and thats more than some people know. guess all u can do is try to keep ur chin up and keep swallowing down those scars...maybe eventually we'll be able to dispose of them. |
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Re: Burning In The Bleach
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Monday, 3rd November 2014 @ 01:57:22 PM AEST
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I like your thought process here. Those two opening lines- cynical, with an awareness that escapes many. It's good to be aware. Aware of our likes and dislikes, aware of why we pull away from certain people (or why they pull away from us). Awareness of self, now that is to be coveted. Very introspective.
~Scorp |
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