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Do As I Say Not As I Do

Contributed by LouisaMontagu on Wednesday, 1st September 2004 @ 06:35:24 AM in AEST
Topic: dedicatedpoems

In his company, phone in bag, on silent but on viberate,
if only he saw because of his actions its him that gets irrate
temper, temper i wrote for him, but he will never know,
for skin is deep and eyes do lie so it will never show
Last night the biggest shock i faced,
a text on my mobile from the man he replaced,
My baby girl it said i'l always look out for you
He dont love you like i do,
Damn he's looking quick drop the phone
I run to his needs like a dog to a bone,
Will he flare, has he clocked? that just then was my ex?
will he demand to see my phone n read through all my tex?,
our whereabouts unknown but we do go cruising
his need for speed i find amusing,
One hundred n ten here one hundred n thirty there
a need so bad, a death we'l share,
phones go's again just before bed
i know wots happening im 2steps ahead,
My Audience, Are you there???? still? well i carry on- in part 2

Copyright © LouisaMontagu ... [ 2004-09-01 06:35:24]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Do As I Say Not As I Do (User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on Wednesday, 2nd March 2005 @ 10:44:26 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

needs work on forced rhyme and all of the words shortcutted. i thought your concept was very good in the discription, but your poem didnt reflect what my expectations were so it left me somewhat disappointed.

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