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Train Wreck Meteor
Contributed by
deadreckoning1983
on
Tuesday, 31st August 2004 @ 05:30:22 PM in AEST
Topic:
fictional
|
Everyday I wake up in the same place,
Between the five and six.
I step out of my boxcar
While the whistle blows.
I watch my reflection
As I walk these tracks alone.
The shadows and dust chasing me out,
As the sun dies without a sound.
I have lasted another day.
The taste of a rusted victory
Fills my rusted lungs.
The ghost train has come and gone.
Leaving behind blue flame as it passed,
It cuts thru my soul.
Now I can feel you,
And in my heart I can see your love;
Like a paper bag caught in a fence
It burns up like wildfire.
So I lay down my head tonite,
While the lullaby of the passing day
Puts me to rest.
Until the morning breaks over my boxcar,
And the dream collapses over the intercom.
In this, abandoned train yard.
Copyright ©
deadreckoning1983
... [
2004-08-31 17:30:22]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Train Wreck Meteor
(User Rating: 1 )
by girltranscended on
Tuesday, 31st August 2004 @ 05:36:19 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
I like the first two lines alot,
even if they don't mean what I take them to mean.
Rusted lungs is interesting too.
Nice job. |
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Re: Train Wreck Meteor
(User Rating: 1 )
by Remy on
Tuesday, 31st August 2004 @ 07:05:15 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
hum, i feel like this blasted train wreck sometimes... interesting write, i like how it builds on itself...
~Remy~ |
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Re: Train Wreck Meteor
(User Rating: 1 )
by theMoth on
Wednesday, 1st September 2004 @ 04:55:10 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Where are you getting this stuff from, man? This is awesome. Keep the ecclectic ideas coming. I like to be surprised by a poet like this. --Mothy |
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Re: Train Wreck Meteor
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Tuesday, 7th September 2004 @ 01:30:55 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Echoes the Moth ... great write that pulls you in and spits you right back out, giving perspective but vague images the reader must clarify on their own !!! True poetry.
Nazmythian ~ |
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Re: Train Wreck Meteor
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Monday, 24th November 2014 @ 09:12:44 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Again, great use of metaphor and imagery to convey emotion. Love it. Pulled my thoughts in many directions.
~Scorp |
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