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Tail
Contributed by
Silent-No-More
on
Monday, 30th August 2004 @ 01:10:31 AM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
I wouldn’t mind the appendage
If it served a purpose
But you’re a ridiculous tail
That I can’t seem to find use for
And a long one at that
I’m tripping over you so often
That it’s become annoying
I’m closing you in car doors
Rolling over you with the vacuum
And it hurts when I do
I need to have you removed
It will be a painful operation
With a long recovery period
I just hope it doesn’t leave a scar
That would be terrible
I’m just so tired, Tail
Of trying to hide you away
Tucked up under my clothes
A big lumpy, uncomfortable mess
I’m not fooling anyone
So I think I’ll make a date
With the doctor tomorrow
Or the construction worker
Or maybe just an average Joe
And stop dragging you around
Copyright ©
Silent-No-More
... [
2004-08-30 01:10:31]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Tail
(User Rating: 1 )
by katyqueen35 on
Monday, 30th August 2004 @ 01:18:37 AM AEST
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| Thats an excellent write even though i have no clue to what tail your talking about. |
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Re: Tail
(User Rating: 1 )
by DreamWeaver on
Monday, 30th August 2004 @ 05:43:43 AM AEST
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I love the metaphor here - you've expressed your need to be rid of him so well, with sorrow, resignation and then hope for the future ... can completely relate to the 'tail' thing myself ... and I love the last verse - hope you find your 'Joe' real soon :)))) Jan
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Re: Tail
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 30th August 2004 @ 09:14:58 AM AEST
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Hmmm seems with acceptance comes the ability to make decisions. I think we all have tails, some are just shorter than others. If you do choose to have it removed don't be surprised if you find it's not completely gone. But hopefully as someone said before me, if you find the right "Joe", he most likely won't mind at all.
Wonderful write SNM, I love your analogies! |
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Re: Tail
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 30th August 2004 @ 09:43:09 AM AEST
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Very originally done, good thoughful poetry.
wildejohnny. |
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Re: Tail
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 30th August 2004 @ 10:00:51 AM AEST
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Nothing wrong with average Joes or construction workers. They can create miracles too, sometimes. Good luck.
Rita |
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Re: Tail
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Monday, 30th August 2004 @ 02:23:58 PM AEST
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wonderful write, but I give up, I cant fathom out what you are going on about lolol
pixie xx |
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Re: Tail
(User Rating: 1 )
by pvd on
Monday, 30th August 2004 @ 10:07:49 PM AEST
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We all are dragging around old baggage of one sort or another. The tail is a great metaphor. Great write. I love the last stanza!
PVD |
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Re: Tail
(User Rating: 1 )
by theMoth on
Tuesday, 31st August 2004 @ 03:21:29 PM AEST
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| Another one well-written by the infamous SNM... I liked the thorough metaphor, and how it was not given away so easily until the end.--Mothy |
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Re: Tail
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Thursday, 2nd September 2004 @ 09:01:40 AM AEST
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hmm looking for a construction worker huh? ( primps self and smooths clothes) :o) Ok ok...Im being stupid but what the hell. I loved this my friend
Very well done
Roses
Larry |
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Re: Tail
(User Rating: 1 )
by WinterFawn on
Thursday, 2nd September 2004 @ 12:48:31 PM AEST
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I have to agree that this is an awesome comparison..tail/baggage....very original. And it does seem that an emergency amputation is in order!....wonderful poem as only you can write SNM
WinterFawn |
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Re: Tail
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 2nd September 2004 @ 04:41:45 PM AEST
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Of men and metaphors . . . were there no men, i'm sure this particular kind of tail would be redundant. I like the way you sewed this up with the construction worker (and yes, I knew larry would have something to say abou this, lol) at the end, as it all becomes crystalline to me thereupon.
Although . . . being pedantic - aren't tails used for balance? I'm sure you could have incorporated this sentiment into the poem at some point, being as you are, 'of the scales', as it were . . .
Anyway - that's an aside, I think this is very well done, and deserves five golden stars for sharing it with us, let alone penning it.
Thanks. |
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Re: Tail
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 25th May 2006 @ 11:17:59 PM AEST
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Thank goodness you are a good listener.
I find this one to be quite cleverly written. So unique and even more so with that Snemmy touch. (Snemmy = magic = inspirational analogies)
I like.
Timbo
:-)
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