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Running from the lights
Contributed by
Heartfilledblood
on
Friday, 27th August 2004 @ 03:28:56 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
Running from the lights for theve destroyed to much
Sirens wailing awaking neihbors around
Search lights falsh for anything on the ground
His hear racing his mind always working
Stuck in the bushes his friends sit just smirking
The minutes feel like hours
The cop gave up but still is searching
Nows the time its time to bolt
Up that hill lets keep up the pace
Act as if this was a world class race
The swear is dripping
His heart is pounding
The lights creeping back
Keep up the pace just like a guy in track
The light turns toward him, go face into the tall brown grass
He sees the light going for him
Unsure whether he just saw him or them
The grass in his face tall and dying'
The clear dar sky the moon watches so bright
The spotlight doesnt find as the car drives away, that was such a fright
He runs up and catches his friends
Sitting up they were faster than him
As they run and make it home they pat his back
Now wasnt that fun lets do it again
Weve been friends for years so how about not
Copyright ©
Heartfilledblood
... [
2004-08-27 03:28:56]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Running from the lights
(User Rating: 1 )
by artostuff on
Friday, 27th August 2004 @ 05:14:08 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| I like this. Nice imagery. Thank you. |
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Re: Running from the lights
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kindredblood_dragon on
Friday, 27th August 2004 @ 07:49:45 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Iv'e been in that situation before, and it is a freak out when you think you are a gonna then luck holds one last time, glad I out and learned not all fun is that risky.
Awesome imagary, well detailed some very vivid points within the whole poem, But the only downside to the actual poem: is too many spelling hiccups, but other than that it was well written, and well worth the read.
Thanks for sharing.
Take Care
Kindragon |
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Re: Running from the lights
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 27th August 2004 @ 11:20:50 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| I have to agree with Kindred on the poem. I enjoyed the poem and hope enough read it and get the true message from it that you intended. Fun comes in other packages than destruction, which ends up being you own in the long run. The spelling errors definitely detracted from the poem, sadly. If you don't have spell check there is a dictionary in the index on the left side of the page that might help. Keep writing. You will definitely get better and better. Rita |
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