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Trying to stand.
Contributed by
deathdrop
on
Thursday, 26th August 2004 @ 04:24:51 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
This truth is stronger than before.
Yet still I gotta build bridges when I’m feeling so sore.
I self-injured again, what does that make me?
I bruised my arm and made my wrist bleed…
2 months of quitting is now down the drain.
And now here I stand, as a cutter again.
And if Dr. Doe tries to put me in care I’ll kick him in the nuts.
He doesn’t understand me! So I won’t give it up.
My family don’t want me to go to the meeting so I said I wouldn’t go.
Weather I want to or not, I don’t even know.
I’m feeling a little better, to not still be in that cell.
But I’m still breaking, and I think the others can tell…
I’ve pumped my-self with sugar so I won’t still feel down.
I’m still inside the pressure, despite the good around.
My daddy cried, to see his little freaky girl in such doom.
Then he said how much he loves me as we sat inside my bed room.
I’ve never seen him cry before and it tore me up inside.
He said he thought we were friends, and he doesn’t get why I want to die.
I told him I didn’t want to die and that I hadn’t touched the roof.
I said that I lost control of my-self, since that was the truth.
What I didn’t say was that I was stopped before I got up 1 flight of stairs.
That I HAD wanted to go on the roof and then pull my death more near.
He said he wasn’t mad at me ‘coz I hadn’t done any thing wrong.
But this madness has got to end, ‘coz it’s been happening for too long.
… But I can’t control myself! When I loose my grip,
And yesterday was another example of why my life is **.
I don’t sit down at night and make plans for my next day.
I don’t mean to loose my temper but people ***** with my brain…
And that’s what people don’t understand, despite my efforts to explain.
No one under-stands me or why I am this way…
Yet they expect me to sit down and speak.
But not release the words, “I don’t care ‘coz I’m a freak!”
I broke up yesterday, and it really hurt!
Sure, the police respected me but I still felt like dirt.
Then the social worker was trying to make out I live in a broken home!
So I blew my lid again and was left for hours on my own…
Copyright ©
deathdrop
... [
2004-08-26 16:24:51]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Trying to stand.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Pyrofungus on
Thursday, 26th August 2004 @ 05:08:18 PM AEST
(User
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a Message)
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man i do know how you feel...it was scarey reading this...i do understand...and no one understands me...they think i'm a freak also...my mom thinks i'm stupid for hurting myself...which brings me even lower...my dad...ha ha not even going there..i've pumped myself with sugar too...doesn't work alot...hypes ya up but the pain is still living in you....infact i'm doin it now...i just started cutting againt too...i was doin so good...next it'll be the drugs again...then there's the people that want you to listen to their problems and help them, but they don't give a ***** about you! thats ridiculous...so sad how they don't understand...oh-well...life sucks and people suck...right??
please comment on my work too
if you ever need to talk hit me up...email me or something...
summer |
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Re: Trying to stand.
(User Rating: 1 )
by CrimsonTears on
Thursday, 26th August 2004 @ 11:54:07 PM AEST
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a Message)
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i feel this way as well...i went a really long time with out cutting but then there was that one thing that just pushed me and i did it again....my mom is now forcing me to see a psychiatrist which i really dont want to do and my dad is behind her 100% so i ahve no way out of it....so i understand where ur comin from....by the way great write i loved it
Lots of Love
CrimsonTears
P.S. feel free to talkto me if u need someone to talk to |
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Re: Trying to stand.
(User Rating: 1 )
by WorthlesSanity666 on
Friday, 27th August 2004 @ 12:02:06 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| I love how you write your poems... I'm sorry life's such a complete b****. There's so much a want to say, but there are no words left in this confusion crusted brain. All I can say, is that I know what you mean. ( I know, real helpfyl and original :-/ ) It's just, I feel so much of what you feel, it's like seeing my life, but some other unfortunate soul is living it... I'd really like it if you would pm me. But i'm sure you're drowning in those. So I won't be offended. If only people understood... Anyway, I really liked your poem. You can put so much emotion into words like no one else can. So... yeah. Great job. |
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Re: Trying to stand.
(User Rating: 1 )
by LiquidChaos on
Monday, 30th August 2004 @ 09:43:45 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Rosie Rosie Rosie...See...this is why I need to get you an international calling card...hey that's not a bad idea...Then we could call each other when we feel like this. Thats awesome that you were able to talk to your dad. I wish I could do that, and I'm sorry about Richard. Thats a great accomplishment that you went for two months! That's about as long as I've been able to go! Don't give up hope hun, we'll try again and eventually we'll succede. Soon we'll be done with this self injury junk. Keep writing!
Addie |
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