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Whatever it belonged to me
Contributed by
little_genna
on
Wednesday, 25th August 2004 @ 02:51:56 AM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
|
You say that it doesn’t matter its in the past,
If only your saying did last.
It had to happen sometime,
Was that just a line?
Why are you so bent out of a shape?
You twist and turn like a stupid piece of tape.
Why do you take it out on me?
Yet you just don’t seem to see.
No matter what it’s the past and needs to be left alone.
Why do you even bother to moan?
Copyright ©
little_genna
... [
2004-08-25 02:51:56]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Whatever it belonged to me
(User Rating: 1 )
by artostuff on
Wednesday, 25th August 2004 @ 03:16:27 AM AEST
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| I like it. 'You twist and turn like a stupid piece of tape'. Very good imagery. |
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Re: Whatever it belonged to me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stoney1 on
Wednesday, 25th August 2004 @ 07:10:44 AM AEST
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Ok, you're sort of ramming stuff together and it's spoiling
the piece. God created punctuation so that we might
communicate more effectively with each other.*g*
You {-say}{+said} {-that} it doesn’t matter{+;}{+that} its in the past,
{+Yet having said this; it doesn't last}
If only your saying {+it} {-did} {+would} last.
{-It had to happen sometime,
Was that just a line?}
Why are you so bent out of a shape?
{-You} twist{+ing} and turn{+ing} like a {+dumb}{-stupid} piece of tape.
Why {-do you} take it out on me?
{-Yet} you just don’t seem to see.
{-No matter what,} it’s the past and needs to be left alone.
Why do you even bother to moan?
**********************
edit marks removed:
You said it doesn’t matter; that it's in the past,
Yet having said this; it doesn't last
If only saying it, would endure
You and I might have a better future
Why are you so bent out of a shape?
Twisting and turning like a dumb piece of tape.
Why take it out on me?
You just don’t seem to see.
It’s in the past and needs to be left alone.
Why do you even bother to moan?
Writing your gripe out as poetry has a cathartic effect
on the soul; and it's certainly more socially acceptable
then say, taking a two-by-four to the old man.*s*
Stoney
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