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Your Silent Lullaby
Contributed by
CrimsonTears
on
Friday, 20th August 2004 @ 07:28:51 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Close your bright blue eyes
Give the world your last goodbyes
As I sing you this silent lullaby
Just remember it’s your time to die
Slip into an eternal sleep
No one can hear your silenced weep
Do not try to fight your fate
Death has planned for this date
In your pillow I’ll hide your face
Erase you from this time and space
Cast you deep into the stars
Take away all your painful scars
Goodbye to you my baby, so sweet
It is you death is waiting to meet
So walk down the golden road
Just let go of your heavy load
When you walk into the forest so dark
Just be sure to leave your mark
I swear I’ll follow soon enough
But this is your time, I know it’s tough
Be fast for death is awaiting your arrival
I must make sure there’s no chance for survival
I love you and you know it’s true
But this is something I have to do
So Close your bright blue eyes
Give the world your last goodbyes
As I sing you this silent lullaby
Just remember it’s your time to die
Copyright ©
CrimsonTears
... [
2004-08-20 19:28:51]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Your Silent Lullaby
(User Rating: 1 )
by waos on
Friday, 20th August 2004 @ 07:54:08 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| that was good, most of the rhymes went together awesome and kept it flowing really well. nice write. it's definitely qualified to be put as dark poetry. |
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Re: Your Silent Lullaby
(User Rating: 1 )
by theMoth on
Friday, 20th August 2004 @ 08:12:28 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| That was cool all the way thru. Nice write, this kept my interest. --Mothy |
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Re: Your Silent Lullaby
(User Rating: 1 )
by Funkdoob on
Friday, 20th August 2004 @ 08:24:28 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| i liked it. usually im not a huge fan of rhyme schemes but you pulled it off. it wasn't obvious nor was it cliche in any way. i enjoyed it very much. keep doin your thing and keep your style, it's your own. |
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Re: Your Silent Lullaby
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Friday, 20th August 2004 @ 08:33:23 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| amazing write as usual. =] |
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Re: Your Silent Lullaby
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kindredblood_dragon on
Friday, 20th August 2004 @ 11:12:48 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Beautifully composed and written, it had a very catchy tune to it, and sounded like a Lullaby although dark.
Excellent poem, this one I liked. |
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Re: Your Silent Lullaby
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dizza_13 on
Sunday, 22nd August 2004 @ 05:34:21 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
nice write. excellent flow in this 1. Full of emotion as
usual.
dizza |
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