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no title
Contributed by
artostuff
on
Friday, 20th August 2004 @ 05:54:26 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
the sullen magpies' empty
casket lays naked to cold
nothings, mangled in it
discolored hair, the nature
that fades away as silver
from a wisemans' mane.
Silver bleeds the eye
hungry, never suceeded
tiersome harvests of
empty seeds carried
home to feed the breed,
will all the rattle of a
corpse detained
Copyright ©
artostuff
... [
2004-08-20 17:54:26]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: no title
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Friday, 20th August 2004 @ 06:05:24 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Welcome to YPDC.... Interesting write....
One suggestion, when you are submitting your poems, you may want to click on the YES button to have your poems edited for spelling errors or typos.
Hope you like it here..
Jenni_K |
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Re: no title
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 20th August 2004 @ 06:41:12 PM AEST
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| I really like the imagery but I think that you should try doing stanzas, that would really add to your poetry. Keep it up, I look forward to reading more of your work. |
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Re: no title
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dizza_13 on
Sunday, 22nd August 2004 @ 05:19:20 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Very good write. You show lots of potential
dizza |
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