|
Menu
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
Found
Contributed by
Silent-No-More
on
Friday, 20th August 2004 @ 02:36:40 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
The thunder found me
There underneath the bed
And when lightening lit the room
I was no longer dead
The walls fell in
And trapped me there
Time disappeared
(As if you care)
I reached out
And felt you there
I begged for help
(You wouldn’t dare)
I was lost
But you were there
Inside the black
(Beyond nowhere)
I awoke
To no one there
Reality returned
(Without air)
The morning found me
There underneath the bed
And when sunlight lit the room
I was no longer dead
Copyright ©
Silent-No-More
... [
2004-08-20 02:36:40] (Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment. That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Found
(User Rating: 1 ) by pvd on
Friday, 20th August 2004 @ 06:48:43 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Beginning and ending with the same stanza is a nice touch. You sometimes write from a dark lonely place.
PVD |
|
|
Re: Found
(User Rating: 1 ) by UnfallenTears on
Friday, 20th August 2004 @ 07:44:13 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I like this. It could have different meanings for different people but is still really personal. Amazing job. |
|
|
Re: Found
(User Rating: 1 ) by Kie on
Friday, 20th August 2004 @ 08:37:52 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I not only liked this writing style but thought the lay out was very powerful.
It had a nightmare, hurt, lost, undertone to it.
Remarkable and quite impressive.
Kie |
|
|
Re: Found
(User Rating: 1 ) by lostinmyself on
Friday, 20th August 2004 @ 09:27:21 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I agree with Kie, the first thing i thought was, Nightmare...
It does have that sort of feel to it.
I like this...it is different like you said, not like anything i have read of yours before.
Don't worry hun...the darkness will always fade. |
|
|
Re: Found
(User Rating: 1 ) by WinterFawn on
Friday, 20th August 2004 @ 03:40:02 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I've read this over several times before coming to comment. I really like the way this turned out. I agree that it does have the feel of a dream or nightmare....sad and chilling but with the lines "I was no longer dead" pulling the reader up out of that darkness with some hope. Beautifully constructed piece.
WinterFawn |
|
|
Re: Found
(User Rating: 1 ) by Fionndruinne on
Sunday, 22nd August 2004 @ 08:09:30 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Well done! This is one of those poems I need to read twice to comprehend fully. I do like them. Very emotive, and I like the somewhat parallel theme in parentheses.
Nicely done.
Andrew |
|
|
Re: Found
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Monday, 23rd August 2004 @ 06:24:00 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
wow, I get the feeling from some of your other writes that some of the analogies in here are people in your life.
You have a way of hiding things in your writes and this is no exception!
Clever and well done. |
|
|
Re: Found
(User Rating: 1 ) by emystar on
Tuesday, 24th August 2004 @ 01:28:12 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Awesome write.
Very deep, yet light hearted.
Great work, creative.
luv, huggs, smiles,
emy |
|
|
Re: Found
(User Rating: 1 ) by destinyfate on
Tuesday, 9th November 2004 @ 08:44:13 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
This is really beautiful.Keep up the great writing.
Tonya
DestinyFate |
|
|
Re: Found
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Monday, 22nd May 2006 @ 12:55:28 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I often find myself thinking, wow, that was like watching a little mini-movie when I read your poems. That is how brilliant and vivid your imagery is. And the emotion! Well, I'm kinda speechless with tears forming there.
I feel not only must I thank you I must also thank Nora for prodding you into posting this.
Awesome.
Tim
:-)
|
|
|
|