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Distance
Contributed by
EternitysLyre
on
Friday, 20th August 2004 @ 12:29:48 AM in AEST
Topic:
ApologyPoetry
|
Once upon the shattered stars
Whence oceans buried nameless graves
A raindrop dashed, and drowned not far
From desperate dreams and idle waves
~To Nora.
The lucid, languid, limning left
A tangled tress between the cleft
Despite cold nature’s gnarled heft
Twin strands were sorted, stranded, deft
Connecting, twining, ever so
A furtive bond that none would know
But when it fractured both would go
Meander hither, naught to show
While whines can wander winter woes
And calm shall sit where promise wept
The message tingling to the toes
Yet ever-preening stillness kept
Once touched and lost by words inept
Once lost and saved in ashen glow
The silence stays where wishes crept
…And one has withered, white as snow
Yet still it doesn't want to go—
(The spiral stair of destiny can clatter to the floor
Whilst cornered cracks wear evidence to what befell the poor
Estranged sepulchers mark a spot where once there stood a door
Has all been lost or all been gained?
(No one knows the score.)
Copyright ©
EternitysLyre
... [
2004-08-20 00:29:48]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Distance
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 20th August 2004 @ 03:14:34 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I don't know the score. I could attempt a risky stab in this dark, waffling on about internet relationships and such like, but I'd only end up apologising to you (perhaps in poetic form?) afterwards, i'm sure.
So - let me just applaud the diction and grace evident within this piece, and say its good to see you submitting regularly again... |
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Re: Distance
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Friday, 20th August 2004 @ 04:51:41 PM AEST
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I, like Neptune, am struggling to comment on this one... but... I want to try. This really struck me... the ending in particular. It is, I think, either falling away off hope or the introduction of possibility. I'm not sure which was intended - but I'd think it could be both at the same time.
This is obviously a very personal write. A brave write. I won't pretend to understand it all and won't say much more... except... I'm impressed by it (and not just because it is well written).
Hoping wishes might throw silence away,
SNM
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Re: Distance
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vitreous_Soul on
Friday, 10th September 2004 @ 05:25:21 AM AEST
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This hits me on a very personal level...I can completely understand your feelings here. It's almost unfathomable to take such thoughts and weave them into a creation of radiance, but I feel you've done just that with this poem. I shall not sully this with mere comments...for sometimes, silence is louder than words.
-V.S. |
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