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This Pain
Contributed by
unforgiven
on
Tuesday, 17th August 2004 @ 10:27:20 PM in AEST
Topic:
goodbyepoetry
|
I'm always in pain now,
This pounding's in my head.
I can feel it growing larger,
More and more each day.
The doctor didn't believe me,
He just smiled and turned away.
It's taking over my memory,
Eating at my personality.
Sorry for the things I said,
I tried but couldn't stop.
I miss your love already,
The warming thought of your smile
I won't remember anymore,
But please, cherish my laugh.
I promise to look out for you,
To watch you here from Heaven.
I want you to have my strength,
My courage and my love.
Don't cry over me, my darling,
Tears never solved a problem.
I'm leaving now,
Goodbye to you,
Forevermore,
Goodbye.
Copyright ©
unforgiven
... [
2004-08-17 22:27:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: This Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by Delusions on
Wednesday, 18th August 2004 @ 12:34:17 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| great work hunni... i like this one alot!!! thankyou for letting me share this gift w/ you and thankyou for sharing yours with me!!! keep it up gorjuz... ur poems are mini masterpieces!!! Luv you... cRuNcHiE xox |
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Re: This Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by poetic_ire on
Tuesday, 28th September 2004 @ 08:50:03 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Very good. Sad really... |
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Re: This Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by a_bear on
Tuesday, 28th September 2004 @ 09:30:54 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Hello, me again. You asked for it ..LOL. This is another great poem..I would use another word at the beginning to catch attention.. as an example, I might say;
The pain is unremitting now..or
The pain is incessant now...something like that. But then I'm a word hog or something.. |
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