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I Am Dead
Contributed by
puppy_dog_eyes
on
Tuesday, 17th August 2004 @ 03:35:52 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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I am dead, though rumoured alive
Walking in dreamtime, swimming through muddy water
The sting of thorns does not hurt my face
I could grasp the nettle with both hands and feel no pain
For to feel needs sense, all sense has flown
Like a swallow, now distant, back to the sun
I see you talk, watch words tumble from your lips
But only the sound of silence registers in my head
Energy draining like blood from a wound
Weaker, gasping for the sweet breath of life
Choking on the scent of mere existence
Down the dark well, falling once more
Fingers outstretched touching nothing but air
A smile painted on that I greet you with today
Faked, the exterior face to present to the world
A house coloured bright while the inside decays
Summer shouts at the world outside
But the world inside my mind cloaked in winters night
For me not the melody plucked from the harp
But the long slow lament on cellos darkly bowed
When today collides into tomorrow
Will the wind blow the shroud that covers my face ?
Waiting for time to reincarnate me
To breathe me back to life
Wake me soon,renew my springtime, for I am dead.
Copyright ©
puppy_dog_eyes
... [
2004-08-17 15:35:52]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I Am Dead
(User Rating: 1 )
by InnerBeautyQueen on
Tuesday, 17th August 2004 @ 03:38:01 PM AEST
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| this is such a sad poem.. very well written |
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Re: I Am Dead
(User Rating: 1 )
by paula_kay23 on
Tuesday, 17th August 2004 @ 03:53:25 PM AEST
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love the way you describe how you feel in this poem, i find when i write, it helps to relieve a bit of the bad feeling i feel.
hope it done the same for you
paula xx |
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Re: I Am Dead
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Tuesday, 17th August 2004 @ 05:13:33 PM AEST
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holy crud... wow this was AWESOME. I thought my last poem was good, but mine pales in comparison after reading the first line. This was beautiful yet utterly saps the reader of all hope... damn I wonder where how I missed you before.
"Choking on the scent of mere existence"
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: I Am Dead
(User Rating: 1 )
by sweetangeluk on
Wednesday, 18th August 2004 @ 09:03:27 AM AEST
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A brilliant write you have captured your heartfelt feelings so well into words.
Think we all feel like this as some point in our lives.
Things will get better and the sun will shine for you once again be strong and take care
Love Sweetangelukxxxxx |
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Re: I Am Dead
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Wednesday, 18th August 2004 @ 12:44:25 PM AEST
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Awww I am so sorry that you feel like this....you are not dead, but very much alive, just look at your talent in your writes *hugs*
pixie xx |
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Re: I Am Dead
(User Rating: 1 )
by WinterFawn on
Friday, 3rd September 2004 @ 11:31:37 AM AEST
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This is EXCELLENT!...writing is the most perfect outlet for ALL emotions...and you definitely let your emotions flow in this piece!
"When today collides into tomorrow
Will the wind blow the shroud that covers my face ?"
Absolutely brilliant!
WinterFawn |
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Re: I Am Dead
(User Rating: 1 )
by arden on
Saturday, 4th September 2004 @ 12:04:42 AM AEST
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to me (in all honesty) this is the best poem i have ever read on ypdc.... ever line ever word is me. iv had these thoughts, feelings, emotions. it is such a masterful piece of work. i must admit that my MSN name has been "Choking on the scent of mere existence" for a few weeks now. so much power in one line. you are a truly gifted writer. dont ever stop.
impressive poem. it spoke to what little of heart i have left.
Becky
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Re: I Am Dead
(User Rating: 1 )
by katyqueen35 on
Saturday, 11th September 2004 @ 12:20:55 AM AEST
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Wow i say this is an excellent write.
So sad .......so deep with emotion.
You get 5 stars for this one. |
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Re: I Am Dead
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 11th September 2004 @ 08:00:18 AM AEST
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I was hoping for the ending that you gave.
It fitted perfectly.
Thanks to Arden for bringing this to my attention, and thankyou for submitting this here. |
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Re: I Am Dead
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Monday, 13th September 2004 @ 09:51:27 AM AEST
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a Message)
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What an incredible description of depression. How real... how detailed.
Incredible how you have conveyed this feeling.
Stitch |
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