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If
Contributed by
Silent-No-More
on
Saturday, 14th August 2004 @ 12:55:30 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
If I may never tell you of my love again
I shall remain mute until time’s end
Ashamed of my own voice, shaking, hollow
A voice that breaks and cries and wallows
If I never again find you in the sunrise
I shall eventually just close my eyes
Refusing to see horrid reality, obvious, true
My eyes blurred by tears and thoughts of you
Oh! Love, if you never again take my hand
I shall forever be lost to this land
Disappearing into the night, invisible, gone
For days without you are unbearably long
If I ever dissever my heart from your hands
I shall slip away like hourglass sand
Falling deep into nothingness, empty, cold
Clutching my lonely heart, used and old
And if our souls cannot be together here
I shall wait in heaven for you, my dear
Waiting there for you to arrive, soaring, free
So we might fly, together, into eternity
Copyright ©
Silent-No-More
... [
2004-08-14 12:55:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: If
(User Rating: 1 )
by holderofthestone on
Saturday, 14th August 2004 @ 01:22:09 PM AEST
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| if only forever had lasted... I can truly relate with this poem. I dont think the feeling ever goes away completely. a very heartfelt poem, beautifully written. A++++ but remember silent, im always here for you... |
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Re: If
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Saturday, 14th August 2004 @ 01:28:27 PM AEST
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*bites lip*
There's so much emotion and pain and beauty in this I don't know what to say. Wish I did.
Instead, I suppose I'll just sit here silently, in awe, and hoping smiles come your way and soon . . .
--Nora |
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Re: If
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 14th August 2004 @ 03:24:34 PM AEST
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SNM, I think in your 5th verse, 3rd line, you possibly meant for that word to be soaring? Otherwise this is very sad and reflective, yet pours love out of its vessel in every word. This is a beautiful write.
Rita |
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Re: If
(User Rating: 1 )
by faith_my_eyes on
Saturday, 14th August 2004 @ 04:10:16 PM AEST
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this is an emotional and beautiful poem written with tenderness and love.
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Re: If
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Sunday, 15th August 2004 @ 06:43:23 PM AEST
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This is so beautiful ...wow Such devotion to your love...outstanding write my friend.
Very well done
Roses
Larry |
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Re: If
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 15th August 2004 @ 06:53:16 PM AEST
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| Lovely write, wistful and sad, but not desperate - merely filled with that loneliness that comes with lost love. I thought this was touching. |
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Re: If
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 15th August 2004 @ 09:11:53 PM AEST
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| Just wonderful...don't you ever stop writing....or loving. |
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Re: If
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 16th August 2004 @ 09:10:20 AM AEST
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I actually pictured you on a stage, speaking this. Don't ask me why - the image just popped into my head during the first stanza. And no - I'm not going to say what I think you look like - because I wasn't really looking at you, I was looking at the words you were saying, which were . . . heartrending, and yet hopeful, , ,
"If I ever dissever my heart from your hands
I shall slip away like hourglass sand"
That's a powerful image. Keep writing. |
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Re: If
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stellar on
Monday, 16th August 2004 @ 11:19:36 AM AEST
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| I love this. What can I say about it that others haven't already? Beautiful. Love like that is rare and something to be held very close to our hearts. Your metaphors were excellent. Outstanding write! |
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Re: If
(User Rating: 1 )
by forever_lonely on
Monday, 16th August 2004 @ 04:52:26 PM AEST
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There isnt much i can say that hasnt already been said, so, i shall just sit in deafening silence staring at this beautiful, heartrenching piece.
5 Stars and but a million more, a true joy to the world of poetry
Luke |
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Re: If
(User Rating: 1 )
by katyqueen35 on
Tuesday, 17th August 2004 @ 12:48:43 AM AEST
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| I have one word for that ..beautifullll!!!!!!!!! |
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Re: If
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Wednesday, 18th August 2004 @ 12:06:56 PM AEST
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Beautifully romantic. The kind of poem I just want to grab on to and let it take me away.
Stitch |
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Re: If
(User Rating: 1 )
by pvd on
Friday, 20th August 2004 @ 07:06:16 AM AEST
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Remember "if" is in the middle of "L-if-E."
Don't stop ling and Loving until you've reached the big "E" in the End.
Lve the emotin. PVD |
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Re: If
(User Rating: 1 )
by eatfresh22 on
Wednesday, 1st September 2004 @ 03:54:23 PM AEST
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So heartfelt and full of honest emotion. Yes, a little desperation, but I still sense a little light. Nice poem.
~Carrie~ |
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Re: If
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 21st May 2006 @ 03:39:57 AM AEST
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Aw, I simply love this poem. Throughout the feeling of being forlorn with lost love and then in the end, the forever hope of happiness in what lies beyond. Very very gripping.
I adore this line:
"I shall slip away like hourglass sand"
Timber
(absolutely loving your way with words)
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