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Contributed by
Avarice_Riot
on
Saturday, 14th August 2004 @ 12:03:49 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
The child's body is draped in vapour
Grown from years of sleeping fury.
The child's heart is wrapped in steel
Born of years of stings kept in the dark.
The child's ears are blissful and deaf
Stoned by arguments that yield no end.
The child's soul is battered to a dross
Bound by duties to flesh and blood gone wrong.
The child's veins threaten to erupt
Strained by witnessing too many flaws in her idols.
The child's eyes are hollow and dull
Drawn from a well whose contents
Became arid many, many moons ago.
In the distance the echo of a bitter laugh is heard...
Funny...funny how that child
looks so much like me.
Copyright ©
Avarice_Riot
... [
2004-08-14 00:03:49]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Home
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stellar on
Saturday, 14th August 2004 @ 12:13:11 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Awesome |
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Re: Home
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stellar on
Saturday, 14th August 2004 @ 12:14:04 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| This reminds me of my boyfriend. |
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Re: Home
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kindredblood_dragon on
Saturday, 14th August 2004 @ 12:34:47 AM AEST
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A very sad reality to what goes on some lives, you wrote this well, it sent forth clear vivd images, which left me reeling.
So much emotion, wrapped in a cloak of darkness, beautifully written, I liked. |
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Re: Home
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Saturday, 14th August 2004 @ 12:42:26 AM AEST
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this is odd I come on a poetry site and I actually FIND poetry. Wow this was awesome very poetically brilliant. I liked the little twist at the end. I liked how u said the child's body is draped in vapour that was neat and adds a note of confusion and sort of desperation to the air.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Home
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Saturday, 14th August 2004 @ 01:46:55 AM AEST
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| Aww..awesome very dark and chilling..venkat |
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Re: Home
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 14th August 2004 @ 09:45:10 AM AEST
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AV, I am so sorry your childhood was not filled with joy and love and laughter. But it did accomplish creating an artist for the world. You are able to look inside and bring out the best of yourself. Love can be found in more places than home.
Smiles and hugs,
Rita |
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Re: Home
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Saturday, 14th August 2004 @ 10:25:34 AM AEST
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wonderfully written *applauds*
pixie xx |
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Re: Home
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Tuesday, 17th August 2004 @ 12:18:02 AM AEST
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Brilliant write....so sad......
Jenni |
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Re: Home
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Friday, 20th August 2004 @ 12:24:57 PM AEST
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You've done it again. I adore this.
And i love the twist at the end too. It really makes the poem work.
Amazing write.
*hugs* Phil xxx |
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Re: Home
(User Rating: 1 )
by blueheart on
Sunday, 22nd August 2004 @ 02:37:38 AM AEST
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| Ave, thanks for sharing this speck of brilliance. |
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Re: Home
(User Rating: 1 )
by arden on
Saturday, 28th August 2004 @ 10:41:25 PM AEST
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heh, reminds me of myself.
this was .... wow i dont have words for it. im rather speechless.
your words are so powerful. they touch the soul with sadness.
greatly done as always.
loved this.
Arden |
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Re: Home
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Sunday, 24th October 2004 @ 06:43:12 PM AEST
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Very sad, touching, strong write even tho sad.
I realized when my fist grand child was born that babies come into this world with all goodness and knowledge fresh from heaven. They are corrupted by the world.
good work, friend.
luv, huggs, smiles,
emy |
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Re: Home
(User Rating: 1 )
by savedbydeath on
Friday, 26th November 2004 @ 10:00:13 AM AEST
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AWESOME WRITE!i can relate to this in so many ways,but i've found it earier to look beyong right into the lives of less pain and suffering,we must all realize that life is life,the way we live is the way we let ourselves live,keep up the great job
savedbydeath |
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