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Sixteen No More
Contributed by
lp15
on
Friday, 13th August 2004 @ 09:55:12 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
I'm standing in a darkened alley
a .35 cleansing my right ear
I'm suddenly sure it's the finale
but I'm unable to shed a tear
I close my eyes and hope for the best
while he rips and claws at my soul;
my lips are invaded, my body depressed;
my mind spins out of control
I hate you, I loathe you, I want you to die
are the words I think but don’t say
all that comes out is a high, strangled cry
when he rises and creeps away
I slowly get up and make my way home
feeling used, defiled, and unclean
nowhere to go and nowhere to roam
abruptly older then my sixteen
Copyright ©
lp15
... [
2004-08-13 21:55:12]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Sixteen No More
(User Rating: 1 )
by lp15 on
Friday, 13th August 2004 @ 10:03:37 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| like i said before, after you read i would love for you to comment and tell me what you really think...good or bad. im always up for ways i can improve. also, this isnt just a rape poem, though it may seem that way on the surface. look past all that and try to get the deeper message. thanks for reading! |
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Re: Sixteen No More
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bohemian_with_a_pen on
Friday, 13th August 2004 @ 10:13:04 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| this is awesome, u have such great talent |
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Re: Sixteen No More
(User Rating: 1 )
by ps_ihateyou on
Friday, 13th August 2004 @ 10:15:34 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| i really liked this. it really made me think. nice job. keep up the good work. |
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Re: Sixteen No More
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stellar on
Friday, 13th August 2004 @ 10:53:08 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I think this is very well written. The words flow and depict the emotions perfectly. I wouldn't change a thing. |
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Re: Sixteen No More
(User Rating: 1 )
by CaddishCut on
Friday, 13th August 2004 @ 11:01:17 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Wow. That really good! Sad, but good. Sorrow and anger filled poems make the best ones. |
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