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waiting
Contributed by
Dizza_13
on
Friday, 13th August 2004 @ 07:44:17 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
So If you’re broken,
All you need to is give me a call,
I’ll catch you when you fall,
I’ll be there waiting,
For without you i'm sure I’d die.
You’re always searching for a way out,
Well I can show you and all you have to do is shout,
The path that you’ve chosen’s a rocky one,
Long, hard and frozen it has become,
Ever corner you turn,
Will only make you burn,
All these feelings your sure to hide,
But I’ll see them in you deep inside.
And if you need me,
I will be listening for your voice,
If you don’t call, then that is your own choice,
But ill be waiting,
Just in case I hear you cry.
Copyright ©
Dizza_13
... [
2004-08-13 07:44:17]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: waiting
(User Rating: 1 )
by lovespoetic0518 on
Friday, 13th August 2004 @ 08:51:10 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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very sweet poem, i liked how you started it out.
Kimberly |
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Re: waiting
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kitty_cat on
Friday, 13th August 2004 @ 10:51:32 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| wow, tht is quite an amazing poem...the only criticism i'll give is the last line of the first verse is kinda strange...i dnt think it really fits there. I wud suggest you chnge it and put tht line sumwhere else, or chnge the line a bit if it dnt go wth the rythm or rhyme of the verse |
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Re: waiting
(User Rating: 1 )
by BrandySwanson on
Friday, 13th August 2004 @ 12:16:41 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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sweet lovely write great job.
Brandy |
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