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This Time Around
Contributed by
drummerchic18
on
Thursday, 12th August 2004 @ 09:25:53 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
As a little girl I would sit in my room, curled in a ball wishing the screaming would cease
yet it never did
It only became louder and louder until it was all I heard in my mind
Never wanting to go home, too afraid to think of what I might see when I stepped foot in the door
Always was waiting to see my mother lying broken and abandoned on the hard wood floor.
As I grew I would pray that the pain I saw on my mothers face would cease
However that never did
I got older and the pain grew worse
the hurt became barely bearable throughout the days of her life and mine
I became strong and would get close to no one
I made it on my own
Don't you know that you were the one that made me this way?
Do you like what you see when you turn and face me?
Is it like looking in the mirror as you see my anger rev up against you now?
For I am no longer the timid, scared little girl crying all alone
Now I am grown.
I have my own thoughts and my own dreams
And in my fantasies you are no where around me
But now don't you see
that my fantasies are going to become reality
as I strive to make my life work
just to prove you wrong at your every word.
You are no longer apart of me
Your face sickens my soul to it's every piece.
I will look you straight in the eye
this time I won't back down
You will not throw me against the wall this time
for if you try
you might find yourself then looking up at the sky
You won't make me afraid this time around
I'm no longer your puppet that you control by your every spoken word
I wanted you close to me, I wanted a father
but now I see, you aren't the one for me
It's quite pathetic when my best friend's father loves me more than you do your own
Or am I yours at all?
I don't think even you know.
I'm leaving you right here
For you will not control me
You won't be my fear
Just leave me now
don't worry about me
as you never did before, so why should this time be different for you?
Make your stories believable if you must
But I won't buy into that
you've already broken my trust
I will not take you at your word that you've changed
For you said that many times before
And yet you were the one that I was suppose to go if someone broke my heart
yet what you didn't realize
is that you were the one that tore it in two from the start
You are my father and nothing more
you will not be my hero or my saviour
Quit pretending you care
and just be who you are
If you want to do something
quit the act
and be real this time around
Copyright ©
drummerchic18
... [
2004-08-12 21:25:53]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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