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MIGHTN' YA' ALL BE REDNECKS?
Contributed by
lovingcritters
on
Wednesday, 11th August 2004 @ 07:53:43 PM in AEST
Topic:
HumorPoetry
|
"MIGHTN' YA' ALL BE REDNECKS?"
Ya all mightn' be if yourn rope soap, doubles as a air-freshner!
Your wife's hairdo attracts bees, and she sleeps with yourn brother!
Your baby's first words are "Attention K-Mart Shoppers!"
And yourn truck antenna is a danger to low flying airplanes,
'cause it's a whopper!
Mightn' Ya' All Be Rednecks.....If.....
The Pawn Shop is your primary source of income.,
or you buy yourn teeth from the catalog in Autumn!
You've ever financed yourself to a tattoo.....
You refer to the "Day My Ship Came In," as the
day you won a free case of oil......Wahooooooooooooo!!!
(Redneck's Barbie)
Mightn' Ya All Be Rednecks.....if.....
Your hair has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
Your mother was involved in a fist fight at the
high school sports event, and you ran!
You've ever barbecued Spam on the grill!
And, made your "White Lightening" whiskey over the hill!!!
Best way to keep your beer cold is in a tree's shade.
4th July is celebrated blasting each other with hand grenades!
You've ever raked leaves from your kitchen?
Neighbors started a petition over your dandelion garden!
Mightn' Ya All Be Rednecks.....if.....
Yourn favorite swimming pool is in the back of your truck?
Your brother-in-law is your uncle, and you go to family
reunions to pick up women, or search in Sears and Roebuck!
Your grandma was ever asked to leave a Bingo Game 'cause of her bad language!
You're not sure what color your truck is, because of the dirt, and wreckage!
Mightn' Ya All Be Rednecks.....if.....
None of your shirts cover your belly.....
You refused to watch the Academy Awards since
"Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture, and you were angry!!!
The rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.....
And, most times you just carry your truck like the Asians!
Mightn' Ya' All Be Redecks.....if.....
You consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading, and
you prominently display a gift you got at Graceland.
You use the term, "Over Yonder" and don't know
your left hand from your right hand!
Birds are attracted to your beard, and the diploma
hanging in your outhouse says, "Trucking Institute!"
Yourn Mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
while she irons your swimsuit!
![](http://lovingcritters.smugmug.com/photos/7206593-M.jpg")
Mightn' Ya' All Be Rednecks.....if.....
your life long dream is to have a double-wide trailer up on the hill?
Biker's back down from yourn Momma, and people are afraid
to touch your wife's bathrobe of chinelle.
"Dueling Banjos!" was your high school fight song.....
And, you think a chain saw is a musical instrument,
so you play it all year long!!!
Mightn' Ya' All Be Rednecks.....if.....
You were shooting pool when yourn kids were born,
and from a Scarecrow, you've stolen clothes.
Your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest,
and you've worn a tube top to a wedding with bare toes.
You've ever shot a deer from inside your house,
And, not last or least, you're bound to be a redneck,
if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a filling station gashouse!!!
Created by
Lovingcritters
August 1 2004
Some of this I received
from the email....then I
"Doctored it up a bit!"
The poem is mine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"From my own personal experience, we live
way out in the country, and had rednecks living
real close to us. They finally forced them to leave.
because they wouldn't cut their grass,
After they left, the County cut the grass, and found
2 trucks, and this convertible.........
"I have nothing against Rednecks......they are nice people!"
*Outrageous Smiles!*
Copyright ©
lovingcritters
... [
2004-08-11 19:53:43]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: MIGHTN' YA' ALL BE REDNECKS?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ilhar on
Wednesday, 11th August 2004 @ 08:01:19 PM AEST
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| thanks for the chuckle |
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Re: MIGHTN' YA' ALL BE REDNECKS?
(User Rating: 1 )
by holderofthestone on
Wednesday, 11th August 2004 @ 08:04:17 PM AEST
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| thanks for the great laugh! |
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Re: MIGHTN' YA' ALL BE REDNECKS?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 11th August 2004 @ 08:25:47 PM AEST
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This is just hilarious. Texas has its fair share of them too!
Rita |
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Re: MIGHTN' YA' ALL BE REDNECKS?
(User Rating: 1 )
by kyletycz on
Wednesday, 11th August 2004 @ 08:59:55 PM AEST
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pretty pictures, YAY
l8r
Ninja Tycz |
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Re: MIGHTN' YA' ALL BE REDNECKS?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dierna on
Wednesday, 11th August 2004 @ 09:09:01 PM AEST
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| That's the greatest. I love it! Especially the barbie picture......where'd you find it?! Anyways, great, great. |
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Re: MIGHTN' YA' ALL BE REDNECKS?
(User Rating: 1 )
by PolaroidMemory on
Wednesday, 11th August 2004 @ 10:00:33 PM AEST
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| Haha I used to live out in the boondocks myself...plenty of rednecks out there. Thanks for the great laugh! Haven't had a good one in awhile. -Megan- |
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Re: MIGHTN' YA' ALL BE REDNECKS?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Wednesday, 11th August 2004 @ 11:52:33 PM AEST
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LMAO!! Thanks for the smiles, Connie...
lol... have a great night...
Jenni.... |
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Re: MIGHTN' YA' ALL BE REDNECKS?
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Thursday, 12th August 2004 @ 01:05:13 AM AEST
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lol this killed me my sister calls me a redneck all the time but Iv moved up in the world Im a city slicker now lol cant hang my clothes out on a line anymore LOL
Michelle |
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Re: MIGHTN' YA' ALL BE REDNECKS?
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Thursday, 12th August 2004 @ 01:16:05 AM AEST
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| interesting and hilarious too.. venkat |
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Re: MIGHTN' YA' ALL BE REDNECKS?
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Thursday, 12th August 2004 @ 05:03:35 AM AEST
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hehehehe very funny :):)
pixie xx |
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Re: MIGHTN' YA' ALL BE REDNECKS?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Elizabeth_Dandy on
Thursday, 12th August 2004 @ 05:44:20 AM AEST
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Very hilarious.
I only hear lately that Texans are called "Rednecks"
No ideal why.? Ignorant in a lot of things.
Hugs and love
Elizabeth |
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Re: MIGHTN' YA' ALL BE REDNECKS?
(User Rating: 1 )
by WinterFawn on
Thursday, 12th August 2004 @ 06:25:19 AM AEST
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lol...what a nice way to start my day!....*giggle*....this is hysterical!
WinterFawn |
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Re: MIGHTN' YA' ALL BE REDNECKS?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Thursday, 12th August 2004 @ 06:38:21 AM AEST
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Where do you come up with this stuff? It is a riot! I needed this smile today.
Thanks.
Stitch |
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Re: MIGHTN' YA' ALL BE REDNECKS?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Thursday, 12th August 2004 @ 10:57:44 AM AEST
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Connie, What a way to start the day. That is a riot.
I'm gonna be laughin all day. That was fabulous !!
Naz ~ |
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Re: MIGHTN' YA' ALL BE REDNECKS?
(User Rating: 1 )
by BrandySwanson on
Thursday, 12th August 2004 @ 12:40:12 PM AEST
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this was hilarious I liked it and I for one am glad I lucked up on this poem I needed a laugh or two. thanks
Brandy |
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Re: MIGHTN' YA' ALL BE REDNECKS?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 12th August 2004 @ 04:35:16 PM AEST
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And ya mightn be a redneck if ya missed yer friends poem, 'cause she was pickin' vits outta her teethes! lol Ok back where I comn from we uns were called hillbillies! lol!!!!
hillbillies~rednecks~ we uns all da same!
Tank ya ma'am fer pointin me out to da rest of da folks! lol
Angel (somewhat) alwaysssss, joni!!! LOL! |
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Re: MIGHTN' YA' ALL BE REDNECKS?
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Friday, 13th August 2004 @ 09:46:14 PM AEST
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I reckon I mite b 1 'cause I have stole toilet paper in the past. smile.
U shore done a great job with this mom.
luv, huggs, smiles
yo Arkansas, red neck brat,
emy |
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Re: MIGHTN' YA' ALL BE REDNECKS?
(User Rating: 1 )
by secretwind on
Sunday, 15th August 2004 @ 10:00:45 AM AEST
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| Oh I can't stop laughing,this so funny.Thnaks. |
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