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To Fleeting's End
Contributed by
TheSchroedmeister
on
Saturday, 7th August 2004 @ 01:48:02 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
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An I heard
A friend heard
A man say he
Heard that another from afar
Had a dream
That other from afar thought
That he would buy a car,
One red and fast
and small and cool
and mean
The other said a “car”,
But the man heard a “bar”,
So he bought one, stocking
Malts and Coors and
Queens
The man said a “bar”,
But the friend heard a “war”,
So he started one with
“Halts!” and Mortars and
Greens
The friend said a “war”
But all I heard was “more”
So I bought himself one of all
Of these things
The other drove his toy,
The man drank his,
The friend killed with joy,
And an I thought how it could
All come to this,
A thousand different people chasing
The same different thing
Copyright ©
TheSchroedmeister
... [
2004-08-07 01:48:02] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: To Fleeting's End
(User Rating: 1 ) by TheRaven on
Saturday, 7th August 2004 @ 02:08:52 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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damn...so simple with the rhyme, yet such a complex idea. loved it. great job, keep up the awesome work.
the raven |
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Re: To Fleeting's End
(User Rating: 1 ) by Rylo on
Saturday, 7th August 2004 @ 02:26:23 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Great poem, it makes a lot of sense on how people mix things up that they hear. A very complex piece indeed, but done with perfection. Great job, I will be looking for more. |
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Re: To Fleeting's End
(User Rating: 1 ) by Daniela_Maria_Violin on
Saturday, 7th August 2004 @ 01:31:58 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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very cool write
sounds like the game "broken telephone" :) |
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Re: To Fleeting's End
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 10th August 2004 @ 04:34:26 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Your complex mind and expression makes me marvel sometimes - its so refreshing to read your work after sifting through many poems which don't measure up to this.
"One red and fast
and small and cool
and mean"
That was especially rhythmic and caught my mind and my eye.
Thoroughly well done again, Schroed. |
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