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Fear
Contributed by
Dark_Cloud_
on
Tuesday, 3rd August 2004 @ 01:51:04 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Fear...everyone is scared of something. Me... I dont no what I fear yet. I just cant see. But someday I will feel true fear,
yes it will come to me. But I have had fear before many times. Like when my mom got in a car accident 2 years ago, when my rabbit Skippy died, when my other rabbit Thumper got sick and died too and later on when my uncle plunged his truck into the river. How I stood there in the cold that night just hoping he was alive. Later on when my pet Max got sick and I found him died one night, when my friend almost got beat up in class, when my friends dog Wallie got lose and we couldnt find him, when my friend Jimmy's dog Raven got hit by a car, when Dawn told me she was moving and her cats would have to go to the animal shelter. So it is true I have felt fear many times before. And I am sure that I will encounter many more...
Copyright ©
Dark_Cloud_
... [
2004-08-03 13:51:04]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Fear
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Tuesday, 3rd August 2004 @ 04:27:28 PM AEST
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a Message)
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this has potential. your grammar mistakes and the fact that this has no format at all lower this pieces greatness. hopefully you can make revisions and make this piece the greatest it can be. =]
poems dont need rhyme but it is an important aspect in many writes. find the aspect that brings your poems to life. |
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Re: Fear
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stonedraider23 on
Thursday, 16th September 2004 @ 04:27:29 PM AEST
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| not too bad.. most of my poems dont rhyme but they seem too be workin alright so far.. and death and all of what u said would be feared by most |
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Re: Fear
(User Rating: 1 )
by kbug1299 on
Wednesday, 12th October 2011 @ 02:27:49 PM AEST
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| Great poem. If you would break it up into stanzas it would be more organized and easier to read. And I like to write poetry and most of my poems don't rhyme. |
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