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Sisters
Contributed by
MissMandy
on
Monday, 2nd August 2004 @ 11:57:11 PM in AEST
Topic:
FamilyPoems
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You glare at me
like I'm dirt on your shoe
but I see past faults
and look up to you.
You do bad things
I'm way too good
you cast me off
like an evil prep would.
You boss me around
and don't give me a chance
to show you who I am
you just leave with a prance.
But you are my sister
and I love you anyway
I'm proud of you always
except the times when you stray.
I LOVE YOU LIZ!!!!!!
Copyright ©
MissMandy
... [
2004-08-02 23:57:11] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Sisters
(User Rating: 1 ) by fredlost on
Tuesday, 3rd August 2004 @ 05:01:30 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I'm sure you sister does love you, she just dosen't appreciate you as much as she should do. It's all an inherent part of the callousness of youth i'm afraid. |
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Re: Sisters
(User Rating: 1 ) by Matsukaze on
Tuesday, 3rd August 2004 @ 06:35:26 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This is good, very good, you've shown that you have the ability to show true love, even through the trials and tribulations of family, and life...And love is about the only thing that keeps us going.....Good write.
Matsukaze, |
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Re: Sisters
(User Rating: 1 ) by Matsukaze on
Tuesday, 3rd August 2004 @ 06:35:37 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This is good, very good, you've shown that you have the ability to show true love, even through the trials and tribulations of family, and life...And love is about the only thing that keeps us going.....Good write.
Matsukaze, |
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Re: Sisters
(User Rating: 1 ) by Matsukaze on
Tuesday, 3rd August 2004 @ 06:35:59 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
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This is good, very good, you've shown that you have the ability to show true love, even through the trials and tribulations of family, and life...And love is about the only thing that keeps us going.....Good write.
Matsukaze, |
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Re: Sisters
(User Rating: 1 ) by Matsukaze on
Tuesday, 3rd August 2004 @ 06:36:03 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This is good, very good, you've shown that you have the ability to show true love, even through the trials and tribulations of family, and life...And love is about the only thing that keeps us going.....Good write.
Matsukaze, |
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Re: Sisters
(User Rating: 1 ) by Matsukaze on
Tuesday, 3rd August 2004 @ 06:36:03 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
This is good, very good, you've shown that you have the ability to show true love, even through the trials and tribulations of family, and life...And love is about the only thing that keeps us going.....Good write.
Matsukaze, |
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Re: Sisters
(User Rating: 1 ) by Matsukaze on
Tuesday, 3rd August 2004 @ 06:36:31 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This is good, very good, you've shown that you have the ability to show true love, even through the trials and tribulations of family, and life...And love is about the only thing that keeps us going. |
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Re: Sisters
(User Rating: 1 ) by tlhInganHom on
Sunday, 8th August 2004 @ 10:05:25 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Those are some beautiful thoughts.
I especially like the first stanza... From a strictly objective point of view, the other stanzas could use some revising. "Evil prep", for instance, is sort of infantile in a jr. high sort of way.
Either way, don't change too much! Certainly don't rouin the awesome start you have! |
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Re: Sisters
(User Rating: 1 ) by tlhInganHom on
Sunday, 8th August 2004 @ 10:07:48 PM AEST (User
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By the way, your sister loves you. I'm a big sister myself, and whilst my younger sister does things that annoy me to no end and often cause me to snap at her, I love her. I only hope she knows how much.
Hell, all the time when I'm out shopping I have to stop myself from buying her things; I want to give her the world. But... no... I shall leave Mom to spoil her.
When you two are both grown and moved out of your house, you'll probably have a closer relationship. Trust me. |
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Re: Sisters
(User Rating: 1 ) by maestar on
Sunday, 21st August 2005 @ 10:27:37 AM AEST (User
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Great. very good write.
personely I liked the evil prep would line I thought it came from the soul and you should not be told how to correct your own poetry. |
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