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Choices
Contributed by
jenny21614
on
Wednesday, 28th July 2004 @ 12:17:27 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Black rain drops,
pitter patter down a broken window pane.
Gray clouds roll in, overpowering a blue sky,
the way confusion overpowers a clear mind.
Discontorting reality,
changing all logical thought.
Clinging on to the plank.
Trying to read between the lines,
feeling the prick of the shiny pointed sword constantly battering the spine.
Forced to choose between the saltiness of the black, neverending water and the consequences of turning around.
Wondering if its too late to wake up from the nightmare.
Longing for the isolation of nothingness.
Copyright ©
jenny21614
... [
2004-07-28 12:17:27] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Choices
(User Rating: 1 ) by pixie on
Wednesday, 28th July 2004 @ 12:19:39 PM AEST (User
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very good poem Jenny
pixie xx |
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Re: Choices
(User Rating: 1 ) by princess8383 on
Wednesday, 28th July 2004 @ 12:21:23 PM AEST (User
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I think this is a very powerful poem, keep it up :)
Princess :) |
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Re: Choices
(User Rating: 1 ) by matts_sweetie_04 on
Wednesday, 28th July 2004 @ 12:23:38 PM AEST (User
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I dont find it confusing. I really liked it. Good write!
~sMiLe~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Re: Choices
(User Rating: 1 ) by kammie on
Wednesday, 28th July 2004 @ 01:14:52 PM AEST (User
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a great poem it was nt really that confusing it was reallllly good i liked it and it was powerful ! |
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Re: Choices
(User Rating: 1 ) by Sagacious on
Wednesday, 28th July 2004 @ 02:10:26 PM AEST (User
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I admire poets who create such works "off the cuff," and present them as-is, for poetry is the art of capturing the moment. As described, that moment is a powerful one, wherein an undeniable apprehension threatens to overtake prior serenity. The final line is interesting: "Longing for the isolation of nothingness," which brings to mind the concept of a soul's journey in eastern belief systems. To achieve a pure consciousness (by wiping clean the slate of one's karmic obligations), is to achieve oblivion. Yours is a thought-provoking journey into darkness--though temporary, I hope! Many thanks for your words and vision. -KAC- |
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Re: Choices
(User Rating: 1 ) by srsuckow on
Wednesday, 28th July 2004 @ 02:13:47 PM AEST (User
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This leaves me speechless, all I can say is - honestly fabulous. |
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