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Attraction
Contributed by
MomentInTime
on
Wednesday, 28th July 2004 @ 02:49:30 AM in AEST
Topic:
mystical
|
Attraction
First let's look at little Venus,
she loves beauty, that she does;
be it rugs, a kitchen table,
or some flowers in a vase.
There are times its hard to find her,
mingled in with other stars;
she is there with charms and colours,
aimed at captivating Mars.
Well now Mars is something different,
he glows orange in the night.
He looks very hot and fiery
and its said, he loves to fight.
Yet he gazes at sweet Venus,
yes he holds her in his sight;
and he knows that to get closer,
in his orbit he must wait.
Now through patient observation,
in his course the sun has plot,
Mars has figured that sweet Venus,
'neath her shrouds is just as hot.
And he's more than merely guessing,
of an educated punt,
that the very draw of Venus,
is a very cunning stunt.
Copyright ©
MomentInTime
... [
2004-07-28 02:49:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Attraction
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Wednesday, 28th July 2004 @ 05:21:39 AM AEST
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awwwww this is lovely, I will be looking out for more of your poems, takecare,
pixie xx |
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Re: Attraction
(User Rating: 1 )
by AspenGlow on
Wednesday, 28th July 2004 @ 06:39:45 AM AEST
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ah yes and unlike mighty saturn.....she's not an elephant.
Sorry I had to do that, me mind is running on empty and the mouse is off his wheel.
Very good write, thank you or sharing. |
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Re: Attraction
(User Rating: 1 )
by ExoticDreamer on
Wednesday, 28th July 2004 @ 02:24:45 PM AEST
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| A very clever and exciting verse. How wonderful to read so light heartedly, about these planets as they move about the night sky. Such creative imagination, and knowledge here. Eceptional concept in verse. Well done!! |
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Re: Attraction
(User Rating: 1 )
by SweetRhythm on
Thursday, 29th July 2004 @ 06:00:30 AM AEST
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First may I just welcome you along with your work to the site, its always nice to see some fresh new talented work. This poem was good & I like the way you used the metaphor of the universe with mars, venus & the sun, very well thought & done indeed. Excellent stuff, I do hope you will keep them coming. Thanks for sharing your with us all.
Your fellow poet
Corinna |
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Re: Attraction
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 2nd August 2004 @ 11:41:06 AM AEST
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Intriguing ending. Tongue-in-cheek?
Anyway - interesting reading.
Thanks for sharing. |
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