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Scars of Promise
Contributed by
essentially9
on
Tuesday, 27th July 2004 @ 08:39:42 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Scars of Promise
This is a promise
I intend to keep
To live another day
Despite the pain
Inside of me
Every promise before
Was broken to the floor
Despite how hard I tried
To keep them in spite
Despite how I never cried
Because I couldn't handle life
Appearances are deceiving
These scars never bled
There was nothing left
Inside of me to come to surface
These scars never bled
But that doesn't mean
I never had a purpose
Each time the metal touched skin
I am bloodless without sin
I have no heart to repent with
Each time the metal touched skin
The scars of promise let me live
Each time the metal touched skin
Copyright ©
essentially9
... [
2004-07-27 20:39:42] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Scars of Promise
(User Rating: 1 ) by TheVoice on
Tuesday, 27th July 2004 @ 09:11:41 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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strong write. the scars on the inside hurt more than those on the outside. my wishes for you to have them removed.
the voice
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Re: Scars of Promise
(User Rating: 1 ) by waos on
Tuesday, 27th July 2004 @ 09:13:20 PM AEST (User
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that's really good, like i really liked it. i can relate cause i'm a cutter and those things seem so true. i love the line "these scars never bled" |
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Re: Scars of Promise
(User Rating: 1 ) by theMoth on
Tuesday, 27th July 2004 @ 09:59:24 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I liked the imagery in that last chunk. Groovy.--the Moth |
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Re: Scars of Promise
(User Rating: 1 ) by nexxa on
Wednesday, 28th July 2004 @ 01:54:02 AM AEST (User
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Ok this one surprised me do I read it word for word or look for the deeper meaning?
As for structure I like it as well its a little different and I think maybe adding some punctuation and line breaks could make an interesting revision.
Nicely done wee one
Nexxa |
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Re: Scars of Promise
(User Rating: 1 ) by pixie on
Wednesday, 28th July 2004 @ 05:46:10 AM AEST (User
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very good poem....full of expression and sadness *hugs you*
takecare,
pixie xx |
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