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For Shelley
Contributed by
Trippychick
on
Monday, 26th July 2004 @ 07:11:47 AM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
|
How my uncle could have loved you
Is beyond my power to know
'Cause if there's good inside of you
It certainly doesn't show
You're an evil, deceitful, ghost of a girl
If the truth were told
May all the pain and lies you wreak
Return to you, ten-fold
Copyright ©
Trippychick
... [
2004-07-26 07:11:47]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: For Shelley
(User Rating: 1 )
by BrandySwanson on
Monday, 26th July 2004 @ 08:08:09 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I can feel the anger in this one. how can some people be so mean? [ good job ]
Brandy |
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Re: For Shelley
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bruce on
Monday, 26th July 2004 @ 09:37:54 AM AEST
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| love it, hope she get s the message |
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Re: For Shelley
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 12th August 2004 @ 10:43:44 AM AEST
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Well-said. And I don't know anyone concerned, but to associate the antagonist with a ghost of deceit was particularly effective.
One note on your rhythm, - I'd change
"If the truth were told"
to
"If every truth were told"
Just to make it run as smooth as possible.
Welcome to YPDC, by the way. |
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Re: For Shelley
(User Rating: 1 )
by girltranscended on
Thursday, 12th August 2004 @ 05:48:17 PM AEST
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a Message)
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OH YES! SWEET (UNLUCKY) KARMA! OH HOW WE WISH SHE'D TAKE THAT LONG WALK (WITH EVERYTHING SHE OWNS!) OFF A VERY SHORT BRIDGE (OVER LOTS OF TRAFFIC).
TOO BAD INFINITY FOLD DIDN'T RHYME -
666,000 FOLD
ETC
NICE JOB TRIP |
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