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The Credits
Contributed by
brigitte7735
on
Sunday, 25th July 2004 @ 12:49:50 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
I woke up to an intellectual puppet
I woke up alone
To the love of an electronic silhouette
In a room of my own
Held a couch hostage and made love to the cracks
A camp sense of satin
Holds a body thats beginning to relax
Morphing into my skin
Ring of fake rubies impersonates a fling
Clinging and clutching
Daring to dream, dancing with imagined gold
And the credits will roll
Swept away by a fabricated rouge
Gives way to normalcy
The death of a second rate bombshell's vogue
Becomes wifely duty
Foundation of home laid for security
Emotions left to die
No blazing name with graze Chinese marquee
So for spotlight I vie
In the dungeon's corner of mystic plain
I claim as my domain
In a web of wanderer's I found a friend
And the credits will ascend
Peace of a drug that you feel from inside
Talent I can't disclaim
A thousand reasons you give me to bestride
A ticket to tawdry fame
Conscience departs when you're four in a night
Takes four to equal one
Blessing or curse, insatiable appetite
A fornicating glutton
My open mind forgets to use discretion
But leaves an impression
As I exit my party world of pretend
The credits denote the end
I purge my mind and body members deaden
Wipe my heart and soul clean
Accept God's will for me at Armageddon
But still fear the unseen
A respectable job in a comely way
At least thats how it shows
Disolving away in monotonous decay
Knowing that He knows
Too weak, I can't resist a mixture of charm
My service runs lukewarm
Forgiveness for my worthless carcass I pray
And the credits will play
Invented a man, expectation supreme
That no one could achieve
Contradictory and given to extreme
Faith fades, leaves me to grieve
Rediscovering my power to create
I willed his existence
Flawless match to my psychological state
Worthy of my credence
Eternity's touch sprinkles our entity
I found identity
Before the credits dare threaten my mind
I stop and press rewind
For all of my lives, you're the only one I would retain
And if you were a song, I'd play you all over again
Copyright ©
brigitte7735
... [
2004-07-25 00:49:50]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Credits
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Sunday, 25th July 2004 @ 01:29:46 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Bravo! This is an excellent piece. Very meaningful. Thank you!
Andrew |
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Re: The Credits
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vermillion on
Sunday, 25th July 2004 @ 11:22:17 AM AEST
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a Message)
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"life is a stage,we each have our entrances and exits"
brilliant write you words pierced deep into my soul and each and every line held such splinded emotion.
wonderful,thank you
~vermillion~ |
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Re: The Credits
(User Rating: 1 )
by forever_lonely on
Monday, 26th July 2004 @ 10:26:47 AM AEST
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a Message)
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A rather intellegent piece my friend, i enjoyed it from start to finish, dan is truely blessed, i love the structure this piece held such intellegent design, most capitvating, i perticularly enjoyed the penultimate stanza
'Eternity's touch sprinkles our entity
I found identity
Before the credits dare threaten my mind
I stop and press rewind'
I look forward to your next piece with huge anticipation pravo
Luke |
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Re: The Credits
(User Rating: 1 )
by forever_lonely on
Monday, 26th July 2004 @ 10:31:05 AM AEST
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Please excuse the fact i cant spell lol 'Particularly'
Once again well done on the write i couldnt help but read it over again, and then again and then again and then once more :)
So i thought it deserved another comment too
Luke |
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Re: The Credits
(User Rating: 1 )
by Always on
Wednesday, 28th July 2004 @ 04:38:58 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| not much too say man, except way better than I could ever write...*s* |
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Re: The Credits
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 9th August 2004 @ 06:46:37 PM AEST
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I don't really like to gawp, so I'll just cover my mouth with my hand and mumble something generally incoherent about how good I think this is.
5 big and shiny gold stars. |
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Re: The Credits
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Friday, 27th August 2004 @ 05:38:22 PM AEST
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a Message)
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How on earth could I have missed this!!!!!! I'm sitting here foolishly bemoaning the fact that I miss your poetry - and here - this was waiting for me all along!
I echo all of the previous comments. I'm completely stymied by this. There is soooo much here, I wouldn't begin to know where to comment specifically. You had me from the very beginning and keep me rapt until the very end. Terrific word choice, even better expression and... but most amazing is the 'you' that you stuffed into this.
Absolutely, totally amazed by you,
SNM |
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