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What Have I Done?
Contributed by
Vermillion
on
Saturday, 24th July 2004 @ 11:22:40 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
What Have I Done
the darkness slowly creeping
the coldness slowly seeping
laying in the bath tub
wondering what have i done
i slit my wrists
and bleed out a mist
crimson and dark red
getting faint in my head
seeing flashes of my life
feeling the cold steel of my knife
seeing my wife walk out the door
i knew i had nothing to live for
listening to the drips of the sink
i begin to think
ive always been so sad
even tho my life aint that bad
my family cares for me
they dont show it but i can see
my wife leaving wasnt the end of the world
i could just find another girl
my friends are such great guys
we each have different but similar lives
even tho im not with her
never again to be able to kiss her
surely i could of handled it
...truly i could of handled it
still im hurting so bad
and its making me so mad
if only i could of found something more
something more than what walked out my door
have i done the right thing?
did i hesitate or was i too quick to bring
now im slipping away
never to live another day
i see the face of my son
my god! what have i done?!?
Copyright ©
Vermillion
... [
2004-07-24 23:22:40]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: What Have I Done?
(User Rating: 1 )
by stone_devil on
Saturday, 24th July 2004 @ 11:46:53 PM AEST
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great write, remember theres always somthing to live for.
l |
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Re: What Have I Done?
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Sunday, 25th July 2004 @ 12:15:51 AM AEST
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very emotional and though your looking inward to what you may have done we cant be responsible for soley making anyone else happy or stay with us that choice is theres alone to make. Whoops sorry Im blabbing and giving advice I know you know these things!! Great write
michelle |
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Re: What Have I Done?
(User Rating: 1 )
by xemptydecemberx on
Sunday, 25th July 2004 @ 01:41:17 AM AEST
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| great great write. |
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Re: What Have I Done?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stoney1 on
Sunday, 25th July 2004 @ 05:39:34 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Sometimes when we listen to the spoken language,
we tend to translate something just as our ear has
picked it up. This is what you've done a number of
times in your poem.
could have when shortened is could've not could of
Don't mind me, it's just that it sticks out like a sore
thumb and is distracting as one reads the poem.
Stoney
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Re: What Have I Done?
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Sunday, 25th July 2004 @ 10:35:32 AM AEST
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*hugs* wow this write sent shivers down my spine, especially the last stanza
pixie xx |
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Re: What Have I Done?
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadbloodyrose on
Monday, 26th July 2004 @ 12:28:07 AM AEST
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| touching.. im sure that when many reach that point they think of something they could live for and wish they wouldnt have killed themselves *shrugs* myabe not i dunno.. another amazing piece.. since its by you its of course very well written.. you're consumed of pure talent.. keep writing and take care. AMI JO |
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Re: What Have I Done?
(User Rating: 1 )
by shorty_52 on
Monday, 26th July 2004 @ 09:45:29 PM AEST
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wow again. this is different from ur usual stuff. but it was still really good. keep up the good work
~allyson~ |
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Re: What Have I Done?
(User Rating: 1 )
by assassinatorgirl on
Tuesday, 29th November 2005 @ 05:31:51 PM AEST
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| that's so sad but i know if i were in his position i would have done the same thing because i put love above everything, even if i had children, i'd still be that selfish girl for love, though lately i've been considering if anything ever happened to my husband i would wait until the children were 18 and could carry on without my support with their schooling and careers. very very good poem, you're an amazing writer. |
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