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Wriggle like Worms
Contributed by
diamond_tears
on
Saturday, 24th July 2004 @ 05:10:24 PM in AEST
Topic:
psychoticpoems
|
I don't feel myself today,
I wish everyone would go away.
I want to dance over coals,
And take a giant tortoise for a walk.
Let's laugh about the stars,
And wriggle like worms.
Today, I'm feeling a little strange,
Maybe I'm a bit deranged.
I want to watch spiders surf,
And fall from the tallest tree.
Let's lie freezing in the snow,
And pull out our eyelashes.
Today is like a nightmare,
And I don't even care.
Copyright ©
diamond_tears
... [
2004-07-24 17:10:24]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Wriggle like Worms
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Saturday, 24th July 2004 @ 05:37:11 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Ohhhhhh.... I like this. It's very simple and very NOT simple at the same time.
"And pull out our eyelashes"
That's the 'POW" line, I think... My initial reaction was that you need a "So there!" at the end. lol! But I think you've got it just right as is. I get this - I know this feeling. It's quietly stated - and rightfully so - but, it's... kind of big at the same time. I don't even know if I'm making sense with this comment... but then... I don't know that I could/should. Maybe you know what I'm saying...
Thanks so much for sharing this...
SNM |
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Re: Wriggle like Worms
(User Rating: 1 )
by waos on
Saturday, 24th July 2004 @ 05:57:47 PM AEST
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that's really cool. i like the last 4 line stanze, the one with spiders surfing and pulling out our eyelashes.
and the last 2 lines rock too. |
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Re: Wriggle like Worms
(User Rating: 1 )
by pyro_88 on
Saturday, 24th July 2004 @ 06:06:04 PM AEST
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| i like it. its really cool. |
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Re: Wriggle like Worms
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Saturday, 24th July 2004 @ 08:01:28 PM AEST
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very creative, wonderful images:) hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Wriggle like Worms
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Sunday, 25th July 2004 @ 10:48:09 AM AEST
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a Message)
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very intresting write.....
pixie xx |
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