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HelloGoodnight
Contributed by
tifrob
on
Thursday, 22nd July 2004 @ 08:17:41 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
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Hello Time,
Hello Age,
Hello Death,
Hello Rage.
Time was Then,
Age is now,
Death is always,
Rage Renowned.
Time is now,
Age was then,
Death is always,
Rage is sin.
Time way back,
Age was young,
Death is always,
Rage cursed by tongues.
Time is old,
Age is wise,
Death is always,
Rage subsides.
Goodnight Time.
Goodnight Age.
Goodnight Death.
Be gone Rage.
Copyright ©
tifrob
... [
2004-07-22 20:17:41] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: HelloGoodnight
(User Rating: 1 ) by brew on
Thursday, 22nd July 2004 @ 08:28:33 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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So much pain and hurt it sems...........Life gets better.,just BELIEVE! I know from life..I had a rough childhood..........it wasnt nice! You have to look beyond all to make it! And find BEST friends..........they help with all!
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Re: HelloGoodnight
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Thursday, 22nd July 2004 @ 08:28:57 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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clever strong write - I enjoyed this. |
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Re: HelloGoodnight
(User Rating: 1 ) by Tarukar on
Thursday, 22nd July 2004 @ 08:36:54 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Normally not a big fan of poems like this, where each stanza is basically the same as last, just a little varied. I like this work however. Especially how "death is always" because you kept it constant, and death is a constant. Yeah I liked it, good stuff. |
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Re: HelloGoodnight
(User Rating: 1 ) by arden on
Thursday, 22nd July 2004 @ 11:48:34 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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i loved this jerri. so on time with the rhyme and everything. loved how its written. a very cute poem.
loved it girl.
5 stars
Becky |
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Re: HelloGoodnight
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Thursday, 22nd July 2004 @ 11:55:24 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Great work. You kept the repetitive tone from becoming boring. That is hard to do.
Rita |
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Re: HelloGoodnight
(User Rating: 1 ) by ladyfawn on
Friday, 23rd July 2004 @ 12:22:02 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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very interesting.. hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: HelloGoodnight
(User Rating: 1 ) by WinterFawn on
Monday, 26th July 2004 @ 10:18:22 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I like how this comes together. Great piece.
WinterFawn |
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Re: HelloGoodnight
(User Rating: 1 ) by Silent-No-More on
Thursday, 29th July 2004 @ 12:24:55 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Well done! I agree with the other comments here.... repetition is a tricky thing. You pulled it off very well... From start to finish, I remained interested and intrigued by the write.
Awesome concept and a terrific progression of thoughts -
SNM |
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