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Not You
Contributed by
Silent-No-More
on
Tuesday, 20th July 2004 @ 10:33:05 PM in AEST
Topic:
goodbyepoetry
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Arguments and arrogance
Twisted truths and dying dreams
Callousness and carelessness
That’s the extent of you, it seems
You tried very, very hard
To change me into you
You gave very, very little
It was all that you could do
But my tiny, tiny heart
Knew you just wouldn’t do
And when tiny, tiny you
Left, it finally then grew
In simple, simple ways
I’m learning who I am
And now simple, simple things
Mean more than you did then
Disinterested and disassociated
Ego ridden and never true
Insensitive and incompatible
I’m so glad that I’m not you
Copyright ©
Silent-No-More
... [
2004-07-20 22:33:05]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Not You
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 20th July 2004 @ 10:53:05 PM AEST
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Yay, the light is shining through. I like this poem. I have been there and I know how hard it was. It is always nice to finally find yourself.
Hugs,
Rita |
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Re: Not You
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Tuesday, 20th July 2004 @ 10:56:10 PM AEST
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charged with emotion, great bite at the end:) hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Not You
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 21st July 2004 @ 01:00:45 AM AEST
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Nothing worse than someone trying to change you is there? very good poem.
The last line sums it all up nicely "i'm so glad that i'm not you"
On a lighter note imagine if you were me! bald, skint and lots of children, now that's a life to envy!?**
wildejohnny. |
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Re: Not You
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 21st July 2004 @ 03:10:05 AM AEST
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I like this one. It's got a bit more 'kaboom' to it than some i've read by you. Repeating the adjective is a nice touch in the rhyme too.
This shows a mixture of relief, anger and sadness which is also mixed with forward-thinking, which is great.
Keep writing. |
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Re: Not You
(User Rating: 1 )
by pvd on
Wednesday, 21st July 2004 @ 06:31:03 AM AEST
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Heart and emotion show through.
Good piece to say good riddance. |
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Re: Not You
(User Rating: 1 )
by Trippychick on
Wednesday, 21st July 2004 @ 08:18:17 AM AEST
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There's poetry you read, and there's poetry you want to read again and again and this is the latter. I really enjoyed this one. I think my favorite part was:
In simple, simple ways
I’m learning who I am
And now simple, simple things
Mean more than you did then
You moved out of the shadow and into a bright new world.
Great write!
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Re: Not You
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Wednesday, 21st July 2004 @ 09:16:19 AM AEST
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You have so much strength within you and WOW does it light up in this poem.
Sassy, to the point ,and the ending leaves me speechless and impressed.
Kie : ) |
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Re: Not You
(User Rating: 1 )
by poetryman30 on
Wednesday, 21st July 2004 @ 09:27:45 AM AEST
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Well, you have found your voice and you truly are Silent-No-More. This is a great farewell to the ex, moving on with my life piece.
I liked the form you took with this, also. Very different.
Overall, a splendid write...
PM30 |
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Re: Not You
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 21st July 2004 @ 01:12:55 PM AEST
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terrific strong write- the repetition gave it some oomph and power - I liked it.
nice hob. |
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Re: Not You
(User Rating: 1 )
by blueheart on
Wednesday, 21st July 2004 @ 09:57:38 PM AEST
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Wow, I loved this piece. So strong and powerful. The whole poem flowed so well.
Great write. |
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Re: Not You
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 22nd July 2004 @ 02:19:14 PM AEST
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AT Last!...the healing begins.
Great to see you finally get up and start to move on. We're here for you! |
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Re: Not You
(User Rating: 1 )
by forever_lonely on
Thursday, 22nd July 2004 @ 07:22:25 PM AEST
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| I love this, i feel every emotion in each word and some of the lines were giving me goosebumps, i love the structure and style within this and the upper vocabulary words give the whole piece that extra special touch definately onei would pay good money to hear you grace people with |
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Re: Not You
(User Rating: 1 )
by tifrob on
Friday, 23rd July 2004 @ 01:03:27 AM AEST
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Totally different. Your writing is as far left as it is far right. I wish my poetic abilities was as far reaching.
J~ |
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Re: Not You
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Monday, 26th July 2004 @ 08:37:37 PM AEST
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I don't usually like to repeat words, but I think it works here. I think a lot of women could relate to this. You've expressed these feelings well.
Stitch |
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Re: Not You
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Wednesday, 28th July 2004 @ 02:20:30 PM AEST
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Very, very, very nice . . . talk about emotional poetry at its finest. Quite impressive and I hope it was at least a little bit cathartic, writing this all out :). And I liked the adjective repetition here, too.
--Nora |
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Re: Not You
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 19th May 2006 @ 12:11:35 AM AEST
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| Aw, Snem, You tell him!!! I love the way you dished it out in this Goodbye/Farewell Poem. Brilliantly done and once again, I soooo relate to this. |
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