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Slit Wrists
Contributed by
brokensoul
on
Tuesday, 20th July 2004 @ 01:24:15 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
Handfuls of blood
flowing from my wrists
soaking in a tub of warm
feeling the sting of my wounds
a single tear drop from my eye
sending ripples through the water
which is now swirling w/ bits of red
i am watching my source of life pour out of me
the razor is left on side of the sink
with bits of flesh and blood left
its a little frightening to know my heart will soon stop beating
but i cant wait here anymore
hoping for the better life
its to late anyways
my wrists are already cut
to bad
awww so tragic, sad
Copyright ©
brokensoul
... [
2004-07-20 13:24:15]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Slit Wrists
(User Rating: 1 )
by kammie on
Tuesday, 20th July 2004 @ 01:29:13 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| wow it was kinda sarcastic and scary at the end it was brilliantly written xxx kammie xxxx |
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Re: Slit Wrists
(User Rating: 1 )
by theMoth on
Tuesday, 20th July 2004 @ 01:31:47 PM AEST
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| That's why I don't take baths anymore. |
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Re: Slit Wrists
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 21st July 2004 @ 06:44:37 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
beautiful piece...
The meaning in this poem had been portrayed impressively well...
Also, the flow was quite good as well...
Maybe next time you could try and put in some rhythm, as I feel that it would almost certainly sound just that bit stronger, but, that is just my opinion of course...
Nevertheless, great poem.
I loved the sense of sarcasm at the end (already mentioned in another comment).
who would have though suicide poetry would be in the slightest way sarcastic?
Splendid write!
Keep it up!
_.:'~Katie~':._ |
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Re: Slit Wrists
(User Rating: 1 )
by xemptydecemberx on
Wednesday, 21st July 2004 @ 04:47:04 PM AEST
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| great poem, sarcasm at the end was definitly a plus. shows good emotion. |
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Re: Slit Wrists
(User Rating: 1 )
by depressedsoul on
Wednesday, 17th May 2006 @ 10:35:11 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| this really good keep it up i really like thsi one its really sad and dreadful. |
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