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Why?

Contributed by Tinkkerbelle on Tuesday, 20th July 2004 @ 12:00:19 PM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles



Why?
Why did I do it?
Why did I do it, again?
I don't know.
I'm lost.
I'm blind.
I'm hurting and suffering.
I'm confused.
And worst of all,
I'm alone.
Yet I'm not.
But I feel so alone.
So very alone.
I'm just sitting here,
Randomly typing my twisted thoughts.
I can't believe myself.
I promised I wouldn't do it.
Never again would I do it.
I promised- myself and so many others.
But I did.
It was different this time.
I didn't have thoughts of suicide in mind.
The blood wasn't beautiful.
When I realized what I'd done,
I cried even harder.
And now I am regretting that I did this.
Again.
So why did I do it?
Why?
Yeah, life sucks sometimes.
But we all go through that.
Yeah, I can't really deal with everything,
But other people are in the same situation.
Yeah, I've been strong for so long,
So why didn't I just stay strong?
Like I said,
This time was different.
I think it was done out of anger,
And not depression.
But now I feel depresed.
For I have gone back to my old ways.
But it's not as bad as before.
It's only one this time.
It's not deep.
I am crying now.
I can't believe I did this again.
I was so strong,
For so long.
And it kills me that I did it again,
Especially since I promised the people closest to me that I would not.
I have failed them.
I have failed again.
I am constantly failing.
Again.
Everything is going back
To the way it used to be.
It's the same.
But it's not the same.
I deeply regret what I have done.
But I cannot avoid it
For I have an expertly etched 'x' displayed upon my wrist.

MW 2001




Copyright © Tinkkerbelle ... [ 2004-07-20 12:00:19]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Why? (User Rating: 1 )
by 01_zanzebar on Tuesday, 20th July 2004 @ 12:04:56 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)


you and me both kiddo, its so hard not trying to do stuff that you cant help not doing init, its a bit worse for me i guess, i have to break laws to get the fix i need to feel real i suppose, drugs and undergirls, every great man has his weaknesses. but dont forget that its only other people who say that what you do is wrong, its your own life choice of what you do is what you do

escelent poem aswell (lol) i enjoyed every line and feels allot like the same style i write sometimes, i enjoyed it loads

well done

- 01 -


Re: Why? (User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on Tuesday, 20th July 2004 @ 12:07:01 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
awwwww *hugs you* you poor thing, I am sorry that you cut yourself again I used to cut and I almost did last night, I know how you feel, be strong you WILL get over this..... good write,

pixie xx




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