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I swallowed a fish... now I'm different
Contributed by
norticus
on
Saturday, 26th October 2002 @ 01:00:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
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Water surrounds me, wash away my thoughts
into oblivion I fade
Deeper I fall forgetting how we fought
sleep in the bed I made
Blackness sheets across my vision
I wave the fish goodbye
A final thought fills my clouded mind
I guess I should have tried
The fish fills my wind pipe and blocks my reflection
He steals my breath and so I'm dead
And there is the end of my retrosprection
I awaken with thoughts from a fishhead
Nothing really matters
jz
Copyright ©
norticus
... [
2002-10-26 13:00:00] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I swallowed a fish... now I'm different
(User Rating: 1 ) by GEQUETSCHT on
Sunday, 27th October 2002 @ 06:01:46 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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i like this one, good job, its different like the stuff that i write, no wonder no one ever comments on it lol.
Ali |
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Re: I swallowed a fish... now I'm different
(User Rating: 1 ) by viola on
Sunday, 27th October 2002 @ 11:38:24 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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this is so odd it's brilliant. good writing |
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Re: I swallowed a fish... now I'm different
(User Rating: 1 ) by princesspurty on
Wednesday, 30th October 2002 @ 09:03:09 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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okay..... mental image..... nice poem |
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Re: I swallowed a fish... now I'm different
(User Rating: 1 ) by Kiz on
Saturday, 2nd November 2002 @ 09:03:10 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Different??true, VERY different, last few lines capture your attention. The title almost puts u off and the first line isn't great, but @the end, gets MUCH better.
Kiz's Scale: 3.19 |
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Re: I swallowed a fish... now I'm different
(User Rating: 1 ) by Rakerman1999 on
Saturday, 4th October 2003 @ 11:37:46 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Quiet a good fish " tail"..had me "swimming" with emotion. I had to "choke" back the tears. lol A very unique write and I really enjoyed it. |
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