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Depth of a Hazard
Contributed by
Sirena_Degana
on
Friday, 16th July 2004 @ 11:36:05 AM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
I'm on my way out,
to a place I've never been.
A place where it
always rains and the sun
never shines.
A place where nobody lives,
it only exists in my head.
I wish I could escape,
turn my life around,
but the impossiblity is so great,
and I fall behind.
I'm about to crack
into a million pieces.
Falling together
on the bare floor.
A different me,
a pile of rubbish.
Swept away in to nothing.
You won't see me anymore.
I wish I could escape,
turn my life around,
but the impossiblity is so great,
and I fall behind.
Copyright ©
Sirena_Degana
... [
2004-07-16 11:36:05]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Depth of a Hazard
(User Rating: 1 )
by ArdRi79 on
Friday, 16th July 2004 @ 11:47:35 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I really feel the despair in this peom, the way you structured the stanzas really hammered your words home 4 me, well written. |
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Re: Depth of a Hazard
(User Rating: 1 )
by waos on
Friday, 16th July 2004 @ 09:23:06 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| it's good. i liked it. |
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Re: Depth of a Hazard
(User Rating: 1 )
by DarkFey on
Monday, 23rd August 2004 @ 10:13:30 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Your format on this write was perfect. The message and the emotions displayed are ones that I think everyone can identify with at some point. Great write!! DarkFey |
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Re: Depth of a Hazard
(User Rating: 1 )
by pvd on
Thursday, 26th August 2004 @ 10:44:38 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
The sorrow of lonliness potrayed well.
Keep it up.
PVD |
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Re: Depth of a Hazard
(User Rating: 1 )
by richcol7522 on
Friday, 27th August 2004 @ 08:59:10 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| this is a deep wirte.. good job. I know how you feel I have been there before. But it always gets better. |
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