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Fallen Icarus
Contributed by
Vitreous_Soul
on
Wednesday, 14th July 2004 @ 05:44:35 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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A falcon true soars 'mongst nimbus
Beside me now as Icarus
With wings outstretched, pierce vaulted sky
On aero's faith we both rely
Through current's whirl we brave gale storms
Gaze down upon small terran forms
Past Heaven near and lands afar
Transfix gray fog; Earth's nebular
Mellifluous, as silk we glide
Pernicious paths fall by wayside
My guardian, I follow now
Escape those things I disavow
I flee the day, my road enskied
O'er jagged peaks I fly with pride
Confronted with a mountainside
Misfortune and my prayers collide
With all my might, I climb, ascend
Toward searing sun I can't defend
Betwixt Scylla and Charybdis
Choose between poison and abyss
I shield my eyes from rays of light
With apex reached, my wings ignite
A panicked glance from left to right
My soul absorbs one final sight
A victim of betrayal's spell
This fated flight spirals to hell
Ardent falcon, now forsaken
Image of a vulture taken
Copyright ©
Vitreous_Soul
... [
2004-07-14 17:44:35]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Fallen Icarus
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 14th July 2004 @ 06:01:04 PM AEST
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The chronologically successive submission would have been about Icarus, and his half-brother, were it not for a change of heart. Intriguing coincedence. Anyway - onto this wonderment . . .
"A panicked glance from left to right
My soul absorbs one final sight"
A finale set like any Greek legend, and just as exciting and compelling. That's about as high a compliment as I can pay this one.
Thoroughly enjoyable write, VS. I am enamoured with it. |
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Re: Fallen Icarus
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 14th July 2004 @ 06:14:41 PM AEST
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So much more visual than my "Falcon's Lure" poem. Great job here in expressing the souls journey..."I shield my eyes from rays of light
With apex reached, my wings ignite"
Very well spoken VS!!!
Angel always...joni |
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Re: Fallen Icarus
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 14th July 2004 @ 08:13:49 PM AEST
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I flee the day, my road enskied
O'er jagged peaks I fly with pride
Confronted with a mountainside
Misfortune and my prayers collide
Altogether an interesting read, and this part really struck me - great moment.
wow. |
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Re: Fallen Icarus
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Wednesday, 14th July 2004 @ 09:15:05 PM AEST
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So much of this I wanted to quote just because it is outstanding.
You write with such an intellectual mind as well as an emotional heart and the combination I find flawless.
Kie : ) |
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Re: Fallen Icarus
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Thursday, 15th July 2004 @ 12:30:26 PM AEST
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wow this is amazing, your style is so unique and striking..
pixie xx |
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Re: Fallen Icarus
(User Rating: 1 )
by slayer_015 on
Friday, 16th July 2004 @ 03:55:38 PM AEST
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Another home run my friend.Great work.
Brian |
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Re: Fallen Icarus
(User Rating: 1 )
by forever_lonely on
Wednesday, 21st July 2004 @ 01:24:52 PM AEST
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The greeks would bow down and call you a god if you were alive then, because you write with such vivid imagery that only a god of the pen could create, i love the light and yet pain staking reality of this piece really sets the mind and soul forth on a journey
Once again i have been shown how to write a masterpiece
Luke |
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Re: Fallen Icarus
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Wednesday, 21st July 2004 @ 01:34:00 PM AEST
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absolutely breathtakingly gorgeous, hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Fallen Icarus
(User Rating: 1 )
by lovingcritters on
Wednesday, 21st July 2004 @ 05:25:12 PM AEST
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Dear VS.......so glad you grace the pages of my window once more.
Soaring over head has always been my desire........to see forms below.......what a marvelous write of lights and flows........and the ending is like icing on the cake.
Very creative............and one I could understand, thank you
Marvelous
consue |
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Re: Fallen Icarus
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Wednesday, 21st July 2004 @ 06:16:27 PM AEST
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I've been here three times, Dan - and I still can't figure out what to say. I am, again, spellbound... You always take me on a journey through time - your words seems to shift, transform until they are dried ink on parchment rather than words on cold computer monitor.
If there's anyone here that I could picture with quill in hand - it's you, my friend -
Amazing as always,
SNM |
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Re: Fallen Icarus
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 28th July 2004 @ 11:42:09 PM AEST
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you have showcased your unique talent well here. 5 stars!
wildejohnny. |
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Re: Fallen Icarus
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eve on
Monday, 9th August 2004 @ 11:43:58 AM AEST
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Upon a first read, I couldn't imagine what to say about a poem that could make me scream in jealousy, cry with emotion, tremble at the depth, and mutter incoherently for no apparent reason.
And now, upon a seventeenth read...
... I still can't imagine what to say.
Keep writing or may swallows peck at your eyes,
-Eve. |
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Re: Fallen Icarus
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Thursday, 12th August 2004 @ 03:31:27 PM AEST
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Ooooooh! What you do with words. I'd love to live inside your head while you're writing something like this. Too incredible. Honestly, you have such a unique gift!
Stitch |
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Re: Fallen Icarus
(User Rating: 1 )
by eyesxcriedxout1989 on
Wednesday, 24th November 2004 @ 01:28:58 PM AEST
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Please hold, while I try to catch my breath...this was seriously a masterpiece...beautiful
Mason |
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Re: Fallen Icarus
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Tuesday, 9th August 2005 @ 03:28:06 AM AEST
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| Good job with this poem. I hope you are finally published. You have a great style. |
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