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Forsaken
Contributed by
Divine
on
Wednesday, 14th July 2004 @ 04:31:31 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Searching only to find, a un-explicable state of mind, unable to be expressed in my time
by words nor actions, leaving the a bitter taste dissatisfaction. From my greatest distraction
but the point of the frustration, lies in the question of agitation, looking for a point of penetration
where the pain leaked, as death gleamed its pale and bleak eyes upon the answer which I seek
casting a shadow of night, stealing its view from my sight, allowing me to ponder in what might
have once been, if I hadn’t committed the deadliest of sins, which now terrorizes my soul within
haunting me with empty bliss, and now force me to reminisce, on the one love that I now miss
every single last connection, glaring at me in my reflection, from which there is no protection
I am destine to forever, be forced to look back and remember, the dreadful day of your December
which you were taken, the date my world was shaken, and my soul was left forever forsaken
~Divine~
Copyright ©
Divine
... [
2004-07-14 16:31:31]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Forsaken
(User Rating: 1 )
by Brenda on
Wednesday, 14th July 2004 @ 05:12:31 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I really loved this poem, you did a wonderful job it seems very heart wrenching..somewhat like I felt when I lost my Motherinlaw to death in Feb 28 2003
i tried to write a poem of my feelings and couldnt .. this is an exceptional poem! |
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Re: Forsaken
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stoney1 on
Thursday, 15th July 2004 @ 02:18:02 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I found the formatting of the poem made it difficult to read.
Also, all of the internal rythming makes it read like a rap
which I particular hate as a genre.
I don't know, I came away with a feeling of dis-satisfaction.
Sorry I can't be more specific, but it's late and I'm being
vague because I can't quite put my finger on it.
Stoney |
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