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Nic

Contributed by HellsLibrarian on Tuesday, 13th July 2004 @ 02:01:28 PM in AEST
Topic: LovePoetry



your pretty face distracts me, so unique
and I stare, as a gaping fool at a circus freak
I am entranced by the beauty in your changeling eyes
in them light dances, and they mesmerize
your profile catches even the most wary eye
and though I wish to touch, here I stand and wistful, sigh
I feel an ugly duckling, so awkward around you
I don't know what to say, and never what to do
but then you smile, and I don't feel like such a spaz
as you hold me I start to breathe and begin to relax
and I slowly grasp your narrow, boyish hips
and kiss you, softly, softly, on gentle lips




Copyright © HellsLibrarian ... [ 2004-07-13 14:01:28]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Nic (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Tuesday, 13th July 2004 @ 03:31:50 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Well, this is an advert for the poetry help forum, if ever I saw. lol. Note, people who haven't been there yet, that I do not say that this author 'needs help' in making this poem better - Hell'sLibrarian already has - and how!

Anyway, enough of the audience - I must say, Hell'sLibrarian, that you've excelled yourself here - the language is very eloquent, where you make your feelings flow along with the rhythm you employ, to make me understand what it really is you're going through when you have/had this experience.

Needless to say, I don't think you're a spaz, and neither would Nic, should he read this, which I hope he does.

Top Marks.




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